Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
hi kate so you should be sorry (only joking) i had to go and buy my mine lol think mel will sleep for a week after all that shopping you enjoy tomorrow with your mum x love and hugs karen xxx
hello Kate, I hope you have had a lovely day today with your mum and family. Sorry i never replied sooner only i have been painting since 10.30 this morning and didn't finish till 5.45pm! Just done them all dinner so i can chill out now for a while!! hahaha. I must admit i am bit tired now so maybe an early night for me again tonight! Kids and darryl got me a card for mothers day which was nice. Well not much more to say really apart from i hope you have a nice rest of eve and enjoy the rest of the day with your mum.Hope to hear from you again very soon my little chicken. Take care lots of love and big ((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))) mother hen mel xxx
hi Karen, thanks for your message, and your very welcome to xmas dinner, the more the merrier i say! hahaha. Sorry i never replied sooner only been painting all day and didn't finish til 5.45pm then had to do dinner but can chill now for a while! haha the kids and darryl got me a card for mothers day which was nice of them. How has you day been? not too difficult i hope. well i've not really got nothing else to say at mo as not done anything exciting! I hope you have a nice eve and hope to hear from you again very soon. Take care lots of love and (((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))) mel xxx
Hi Teresa, thank you for wishing me a happy mothers day that was very kind of you. I didn't get spoilt infact, ive been busy painting all day started at 10.30am and finished at 5.45pm but at least it's all done now, had to do dinner after but iv'e finished doing everything now for a while anyway!! hahaha. The kids and Darryl got me a card which was nice of them. I haven't really got any news to say today as just been busy painting, so i will say bye for now. Thank you so much again for your kind wishes that really meant a lot to me, and was very kind of you. You take care and hope to hear from you very soon lots of love and big ((((((((((hugs)))))))))) mel xxxx
hi mel thanks for your message honey it means a lot. youv'e had a busy day painting, i bet your knackered poor you, put your feet up and relax now lol hope you still enjoyed today though. i'm pleased today is almost over, i feel selfish in saying that though as my 3 boys and hubby got me some lovely things and have done everything to make it a nice day, hope they understand bless them! i'm sure they do. went to the cemetery and sat and chatted with mum for a while then went for a long walk with the whole family and the dogs, then made a roast, so i feel knackered now too lol
christmas dinner is booked at yours then, lovely jubbly lol
hope you have a nice relaxing evening, and hope darryl is still feeling ok. speak soon, lots of love and hugs karen xxx
hi Karen, I'm so glad you managed to get through this very hard day, and i thought that was really sweet going to the cemetry and having a chat to your mum, and i bet she heard every word too! I must admit i have been a bit disappointed with my lot today, none of then have done anything and ive done everything! I didn't expect darryl to do anything as he has been tired today infact he's asleep already, but thought my kids could have at least made me a cuppa!! Maybe i'm not such a good mum after all????????? I'm so sorry babe don't want to pull you down so just ignore me ok. I'll be a happy melly moo now i promise.
hi mel you had such a busy day and did everything yesterday, i know you didnt expect darryl to do anything as he was so tired bless him, but it wouldnt hurt the kids to make you a cuppa, they can be so hurtful sometimes cant they? mel out of all my 3 it was only my youngest who made me a coffee, i dont think they mean to be hurtful they just so use to us doing everything arent they? i hope you feel better today honey, and you are a great mum and wife dont ever think anything different. i will send you a cyber cuppa... its on its way hope you enjoy it lol hope you can have more of a relaxing day today, sending lots of love and hugs ((((hugs)))) karen xxxxxxxxxx
