Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
you dont have to apologise to me and i dont think ur horrid at all!! its late (well early actually) so just a short message, im glad ur darling mum picked up once she'd been given the fluids and anti sickness meds and i hope she continues to progress (if they the right words) and bless her for smacking the nurse even though she didnt know at the time what was going on, i felt like doing that a few times myself!! I hope you and your family are ok (another stupid thing to say - sorry!!) but to let you know that im thinking of you and here whenever you want a chat, love and hugs teresa xxxxxxx
Dear Mel Just been catching up on last posts as home till this evening then staying with mum for weekend, u are such a star to everyone on here!! How are you, daryll, daley and kirsty? Was just me and mum that had meal last nite as james' family were visiting so they couldnt stop long at mums so never got the chance to slip the castor oil into angies drink and michaela was in bed with flu - still no sign of baby, angie and james said last night that it feels weird because when mia was born there was no real labour because of complications and angie ended up having a ceasarian so they dont really know what to expect this time round, all angie hopes is that her waters dont break in the middle of tesco!! have you tried filling up a condom with £120 yet (that made me laugh) we'd need a bloody big one for £390!! can you imagine taking penny filled condoms into the bank pay them into your account or get them changed, might suggest that to mum tonight, she had to go back to mt vernon today (she only told me last night that they telephoned her a week after dad left us) to invite her up there cos of the circumstances that happenend (sounds like a guilty conscience 2me with regards to dr russell giving dad too many drugs on the wednesday which we think contiruted to dad going into a coma) sorry im waffling again and diversifying as song just come on the tv channel (elvis aint dead - they used to call dad elvis at the fire station, dont really know why - he loved elvis as that was his era and liking elvis rubbed off on me, sis and daughter and when he retired and we left the fire station terry daniels - lovely fireman who dad trained said over the mic 'elvis has left the building' sorry ive really waffled, music on the tv is getting to me (phaps a good thing as still no proper bloody cry.........still not coming) sorry i burden you!! Hope you, daryll, daley and kirsty have a good weekend, lots of love, hugs and fp's teresa xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Dear Teresa, I'm so glad you messaged me as i was just about to throw my laptop out the window!!! You'll never guess how much damage you just saved me!! haha Stupid me was shopping online with sainsburys and got quite alot then pressed the empty shopping trolly button by mistake!!! What a wombat i am, i got to start all over again now and i bet i miss something out next time!! I think i must have been having a blonde moment (sorry to all blondes i was just joking). Oh well never mind i've calmed down now, i think!! ahah Darryl, Daley and Kirsty all all fine, Darryl and Daley are fitting a new door on our bedroom at the mo. Can't believe Darryl only had chemo yesterday!! I did say i'd help, but was just standing around like a spare part, so iv'e been assigned to tea making and snack maker! Kirsty is at work until 5pm tonight, she worked till 9pm last night, and over xmas was there till 12am! Bless her at least she works well.It was a shame it was just you and your mum for the meal, and that michaela, angie and James missed it, but i'm sure there will be lots of other times when you can all get together. You have got to take the condom with the £390 to tesco that would be such a laugh!! I hope michaela's flu is better soon and how did your mum get on at mt vernon? I thought that was sweet of your dads mate terry to announce that elvis has left the building when your dad retired. Must have been an emotional day. You never burden me so please don't think that you do! I enjoy hearing from you and finding out about what you have been up too. You're very welcome to message me anytime, and it's nice to know i know a superstar!!! hahaha I hope to hear from you soon you take care babe better try and do my shopping again now i suppose uhggggg!!!!!!!! lots of love hugs and fp's (mustn't forget them on the shopping list hahaha) love mel xxxxx
Hey Mellymoo Just checkin that you are ok? Hi Teresa ,Charles, and Karen (sober now ! seriously hope m/day passes in a flash for you)xxx Mel hope Darryls not overdone it?, hope you got the food shop done? or is it take-aways? and hope those kids of yours spoil you rotten tomorrow you deserve some pampering lol xxx Well my head didnt hurt for too long yesterday so there Mellymoo, - no resolve needed ha ha Mums been home 24hrs but probably shouldnt be, emergency docs, anti-sickness driver put in etc etc, tell you again, all settled and comfy now thank goodness, been a tough time but all under control now Just wanted to check in and say Hi and wish mother hen a happy mothers day Love Kate xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi Kate, Good to hear from you!! So glad your mum is home too be nice for you both tomorrow to be together for mothers day. I did get all the shooping done but went a bit mad and spent £220!!! Hope that lasts for a while and the kids don't binge out! haha Mind they are both skinny as rakes so could do with fattening up! haha Their just be nice and fat to cook for xmas dinner!! haha just joking i'm not really into cannabalism! I'm glad your head didn't feel too bad after your drinking session, but you still should have shared it! haha never mind i'll soon catch you up! Thank you so much for wishing me a happy mother hen day that was very sweet of you, it made me go aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!! Darryl, Daley and i have been doing more prep work in the hall, stairs and landing. Darryls uncle Joe is coming around on monday to put the wall paper up so we gotta finish the paint work tomorrow, so we're going to be busy beavers again! haha Darryl bless him has crashed out now and fast asleep. He's done so well though the last few days i'm really proud of him! He's my hero and i love him loads! wouldn't know what to do without him. well my little chicken i hope your mum has a restful sleep and hope to hear from you very soon. love and hugs mother hen mel xxxx
Oh mother hen you have a wicked sense of humour ha ha , but the thing is I have a vivid sense of imagination, i picture two kids on spit roasts, sorry thats naughty isnt it - ! - just joking, also picture Darryl in a super hero outfit up and down the stairs, you sound happy and thats lovely have a nice day tomorrow love chicken Kate xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
i want to be invited for xmas dinner lol . glad to hear darryl is doing so well, hope your ok too. hope u have a good day with the kids tomorrow, you deserve it. speak soon and take care love and hugs karen xxx
thanks for the message honey it was so sweet of you. i hope you have a really lovely day with your mum tomorrow, i hope she is ok and settled now being home. hope you have a good sleep tonight love and hugs karen xxx
Hey Karen Sorry i drank your share the other night, best wishes for tomorrow, hope it goes quickly ,think mels worn out from changing rooms Lots of love Kate xxxxxxxxxx
