Sorry but I'm having a bad day and I just need to let it out. I woke up feeling like I've had no sleep and really down. Mum's been bad this week - a lot of pain and, I think, sliding into depression - so I'm in overdrive on worrying about her. My sister is with her today so I don't need to go round to see mum although I probably will drop round later. I thought I would throw myself into cleaning the house so make myself busy and then I'd start to feel better. My fatal mistake was asking my 18 year old daughter to help. She had a major strop. I tried to keep calm as I realise that she is worrying about my mum too but it was hard. I tried to talk to her but she just got worse and worse so I gave up. Then my husband made sarcastic comments about it all - again he is worrying and his mum is also not well - so I am still trying to keep a lid on it. But I feel even worse now. I'm now sitting on the sofa in my pyjama's watching old episodes of Grey's Anatomy without the will to do anything else. I just keep crying and feel so very very sad.
My deepest sympathy to you and your family Elenium, so so sorry
Thank you. On my way to work, feeling sick. I would rather be at home but there I will only brood. Husband is going to work and keeping himself busy but it only helps so far. Can't get myself motivated, everything seems like too much effort.
Elenium
Uncle's funeral is on the 26th. I was planning to be coming back from my sister's that day and wouldn't get back until the afternoon. The funeral is in the morning. My train ticket is not transferable. Normally that wouldn't be a problem but last night it felt like it was impossible. I had a complete overload. Just one more thing that I have no control over. Obviously I now realise that it's easy to solve but lately everytime something else comes up my initial reaction is 'I can't do it'. I rang about some more counselling a few weeks ago to be told it would be marked urgent but I still haven't heard anything. Apathy has set in again only to be replaced by sudden anger when my boss is being a dick then back to apathy again. I'm debating whether to go to the doctor to get anti depressants - although I really don't want to take them - as I'm not sure what else to do. I'm lost.
Elenium
Elenium I hear you. That's still often my thought too. I.CAN'T.DO.IT!! It's just one more thing piled on all the other things.
Even chasing up the counselling is too much. Do you have a friend who could do that for you? As for the antidepressants, I would seriously give them consideration. Anything to just numb the edges a bit.
It's a shitty Ducking disease!!!
One of the ladies at my art class lost her hubby in January and her Mum 6 weeks later. She's older than me I think. I mentioned our family on here and how it's kept us going through the blackest of times. I also mentioned CRUSE. She says she's too scared to even think about cancer. I have offered an ear if she ever needs one. I don't know her family situation but I'm going to ask. She just looks lost poor thing.
My cold is almost gone ( she says touching wood) but still feel a bit down. Post Majorca let down maybe? I still think about Alan all the time. Sometimes it comforts me, others it makes me so sad.
Big Hugs
Love to All
Sue xx
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