cancer shock

Hi greyhoundsrule I think we have spoken before. Your post made me smile at the prospect of you swearing with style? Love it! It sounds like it is all very frustrating trying to get all the different parts of services to talk to each other and you not having to chase everyone. That's not the way things should be..I don't know what to say about the prospect of the loss of a loved one but hey  hubby is here , frail but OK and he has a wife that loves him dearly who is gona make sure he has all services he needs to keep him comfortable ..  you keep that optimism.up and also venting at times of frustration because that's OK to do that..Best wishes for now Gailx

hi granny59 ..thank you for that ..ive decided that best way is to walk away when my hubby gets angry and frustrated with life ..walk away swearing though lol .......

its hard to get everyone to accept that he wants me to speak on his behalf ...our surgery wants an official letter saying they can talk to me on his behalf so they are going to get one which they will probably file and forget about as per normal ..

i know more about his medication than our gp probably ..,,my husband gets frustrated with our surgery as they insist that any letters from the hospital have to processed by them before they can do anything about medicine changes ordered by the cancer unit ...

so much for a paperless society! ...its the little things i find frustrating ..when hes in hospital everything is sorted out and explained clearly ,,but at home trying to get help from our gp is not so easy ...getting an appointment to see a gp is nigh on impossible but we keep trying ...

the other morning he woke up and first words out his mouth were .." im dying " ...i froze and said well we all die ..your just getting there faster ..tactless i know ,,but it made me cry because he actually used the " d" word and i didnt know how to react ..i think we have both accepted that hes not going to reach 100 years old !! ..but hearing him say it out loud like that was a shock ...

thing with cancer is it takes away everything you love bit by bit..once you accept that its not nice but you try and deal with it day by day ..

best wishes for you and your hubby too

sarah xx

Thanks for sharing this. 

this week Weds 16 July my husband age 44 has been diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer which has spread to 5 organs. We have 2 teenage daughters and this is the hardest thing we have ever had to face as a family. 

we currently wait for oncology at addenbrookes to let us know what treatment they want to start but he is frail he has lost over 2 stone in 3 months, he is so tired and his iron has dropped below 4 hence his 5th infusion coming up on Monday. 

please how do you cope with this sort of thing? I’m broken. I don’t know how to carry on. He is my soulmate and best friend. 

thank you and I am routing for your husband at this difficult time and stay strong if you can xxxx

i am so sorry to hear about your husband ..i know how devastating it is when the specialists talk about cancer and stage 4 and treatment ...and options 

im still trying to cope with it all and some days are harder than others ...

my husband is angry about the cancer and gets very stroppy and because im his carer and general manager i get the full force of it ..but we did talk and he realised he was taking it out on me and promised to try not too ..that meant a lot to me ..because the cancer has taken half of his vocal chords away and i need to be his voice with the doctors and nurses and anyone else ...

i do get resentful of what cancer has done to him ....hes frailer now and more prone to infection so we have to be careful about where we go and what we do .and also not having too many people around us ....

i dont think about the future anymore im just grateful to get through the day with no drama or emergency hospital visits ...

the cancer team at the hospital have been so good and im grateful for the macmillan nurses as they have been brilliant in explaining things to us both .and offered advice about diet and therapy for us...my husband doesnt want to talk about the cancer and i cant do face to face therapy ,,im happier writing about it on here as i can express how i feel better ...

theres no easy way to cope as when i feel overwhelmed with it all ...i try and take some time for myself even if its only a few minutes away in another room where i can cry or just be alone ..my kids have been very supportive and worry about me but i dont want them to take on too much ...

its hard to accept that life has changed and i know what you mean about about best friend and soulmate ..its accepting the fact that life is not what you hoped for and making the best of what you have now......

im still broken and devastated but i cant change anything so i have to accept that for now i can only live my life with what i have now...

im rooting for your husband and your family and hope that you have better news soon 

take care xx