Having a bad day

Dearest AT,

I'm so so sorry to read about your lovely Dad. It's a battle that we know we can't win, and that makes it worse. I hope the funeral on Monday goes as well as can be expected. I for one will wear some red in his honour.

We are always here for you whether you feel like posting, or not. I know how hard it is at times, having been in the same situation myself, as have we all.

Big Hugs, especially for Monday

Love Sue xx

Dearest Elenium,

I think that breaking down on the phone was the 'right thing to do! If that makes sense. They could actually hear how you're not coping. I think that sometimes we do ourselves a disservice when  we pretend to the world that we're managing. People are scared to read between the lines in case they have to do something about it. Remember I broke down when Alan refused to go to hospital? That sent the balloon up with the paramedics and we finally started being listened to. 

I'm glad to spoke openly to your boss. It seems like Mental Health week has come at the perfect time for you. You may not have been so frank with your boss otherwise. As you so rightly say, you are the only one who can change you. But my lovely, if Maisiemae thinks I'm a reluctant lion, YOU are a TIGER!! Fiercely protecting the ones you love with no thought to your own safety.

I'm glad you're going to  GS for Christmas. Funnily enough, I've been wondering whether to even bother 'celebrating. I've always enjoyed buying gifts, writing cards and generally being a kid about Christmas, but this year I don't feel like doing any of it. Of course I'll send my grandchildren presents but other than that just not bother.

To All my virtual family, Big Hugs from me to you

Take care

Sue xx

I hope that things get better for you. The year turns.....

Thank-you Bobles. It is comforting that you know how I feel. I think you are all so brave and have gone through a lot. I wish you could find some peace and happiness, the hope is one day you will.

As has been mentioned anniverseries coming up, another one to add to the list. With Christmas coming up I am hoping , as a family we all go out for a meal - I can't face cooking Christmas dinner and all the stuff that goes with it.

Dreading the funeral and can't decide whether to speak, or what to say if I do. It does sound lovely the way they do it, tho'. Very military, the Chelsea Pensioners form a guard of honour, and the traffic is stopped. Dad will be cremated and we will scatter his ashes with Mum in a more private family gathering in Colchester.

Ooh so much to do, don't know how I can do it. I am the oldest, have to hold it together for the sake of my family. Meanwhile, life goes on, I have grandson's 5th birthday party tomorrow, I am not feeling it.

Hugs to all that need them, take care, Anneteresa

Aah Sue, thank-you so much for your lovely message, brought a lump to my throat. I would be honoured if you wear something red on Monday, the Chelsea Pensioners call it their 'scarletts'. The funeral is at 2pm, so it will be an anxious day.

Elenium, my heart goes out to you, at least you have got your counselling sorted and been honest with your boss. Please accept help, it is not a sign of weakness. I have had counselling and am still on anti-depressants after my precious Mum died. I don't like taking pills either, but they have allowed me to regain some sort of normality. I have tried to come off them when I have felt in a better place, but without success as yet.

Take care, Anneteresa

Hi Anneteresa

So sad for you. All I can give is a hug.

Much love to all.

Jennyx

AT I wil wear red too and you will be in my thoughts on Monday . Speak if you feel you can but don’t worry if you can’t, I wrote a piece but could not possibly have read it at Jill’s funeral I can’t read it now 10 months on without breaking down so don’t put that pressure on yourself oldest or not ! 

We are right with you and will be by your side on Monday in hearts and minds , take care and as maisiemae says ....” breathe” 

At. Red it will be in honour of your dad. I did mums eulogy, somehow i didnt want anyone else reading my words for my mum, nor did they want to, nor did they input. Im the middle child. So, AT oldest you do whatever you feel is right. Maybe not the eulogy but a short poem. What a proud sad time it will be. Take care.

AT,

The funeral sounds so honoured and rightly so for your dad, must be so proud. Whether you speak or not is your decision, there is always a back up of the vicar if you do decide at that moment you can or can’t do it, they are so understanding and will acknowledge  a nod or shake of the head, but no pressure on you to feel you must just because you are the eldest. 

Hopefully your grandsons birthday will be a little ray of light and brief respite this afternoon before the emotions and  to do list for tomorrowcseep back.

Red it will be on Monday. Thinking of you.

 Big hug xx

AT,

I was thinking of you yesterday.  I hope it all went as planned.

Sending you a big hug.

X