Hi everyone,
I have only posted a few times before and i think this will be a long post but here goes.
Currently looking after my mum who has lung mets and COPD so her breathing has been bad for say 3+ years. She has oxygen 24/7 at home.
I have been staying the last 3 weeks, have had 2 nights at home but cant sleep anyway because i worry she will get up in the night and maybe fall or forget to put her oxygen back on. (she has fell asleep before putting the oxygen back on when ive been there)One of the nights i did come home i went back at 1.45 in the morning as I was worried i hadnt changed the oxygen over to the bedroom. ( i knew i had but kept worrying what if i havent). And also when i help with the night time meds i didnt get home till 1 in the morning because her breathing is so bad that things take a long time.
I hope this doesnt sound like a moan because its really not. I just dont know what to do and its so distressing when she coughs, i worry it is never going to stop. The breathlessness is also really bad. If i wasnt there she would sleep because she nods off then opens her eyes again and this happens time and again each day. Ill say are you tired, she says no lol.
In the last few weeks shes has an infection in her throat, a chest infection, a skin infection , anemia, she is so shaky but also stubborn and tries to do some of her own meds that she has always done. Sometimes she lets me do them but usually its just the newer ones i do .
She has no idea why she is taking all this medication. We have no help, I did ask last week if i could have carers come in just once a day maybe at tea time and she said no.
These last 4 weeks have been terrible watching her suffer. I know this is coming to the end and god knows what i will do , she has suffered so so much. For 12 years she has fought this which started off as larynx cancer and what a fight she has put up but she is tired now.
She has had a laryngectomy so she cant speak or shout for help if anything did happen, i dont like to leave her.
The doctors havent been out, I speak with them on the phone and they prescribe whatever she needs. she doesnt want them to come out anyway for fear of being put intohospital. She has already said when the time comes she wishes to be at home.
Myself and her sister said we would look after her, last week i did ask my aunt to come jup and i told my mum. She text her sister and told her not to come. She did appear the next day and as lovely as she is and it was really nice to have some company i wouldnt be able to take a break away as she has no idea what my mum needs or what to do with the oxygen, larry tubes etc.
Our day goes a bit like this, up meds breakfast for my mum....this can take till about 1pm.
Today i came home about 3, went back at 6 to do more meds and get her dinner (which she can hardly eat , she chokes) Out for both our shopping, popped in with that, checked she was ok, back home now and i will go back about 11pm when my hubby comes home from work.
We dont get to bed until after 1am and then im up checking her half the night. I was so worried at the beginning that something would happen and i would be there on my own.
I actually dont know what the point of this was, ive went on so long ive forgot!
I think i was just wondering how i could go about getting some help or persuading her to agree to it.
I know in the current situation with the virus doctors etc dont want to visit but i do feel like i am very much on my own and its worrying.
Anyway, thanks for reading.
