I am caring for my husband who is 10 months on from being diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer, metastasis in spinal cord, bones, lymphatic system.everyday brings different things to worry about, lymphoedema in his legs, catheter causing infections, skins breaking down, coughs,,colds, covid and so on. All part of each day. How on earth does the adult care system think we are supposed to cope.we have no training, not much support other than relying on charities who have help/advice lines.It seems the support for carers doesn’t really arrive until the last four months of our loved one’s life. Why four months? All that does is make me wish that time will be here sooner rather than later, then someone will sit with my partner while I try to sleep and I won’t have to pay or worry about the availability of care agency staff, will the agency send someone who my partner will be feeling comfortable with and all that .
I might even be able to take the dog out for more than half an hour without getting a call to come back home , for no reason other than just being in my partner’s sight.
I have read the comments from people struggling to cope with the emotional load of it all. It seems being able to practice mindfulness techniques helps, I do these things everyday. It helps a bit but then reality comes back to bite me on the bum and I am back in the room with my poorly partner, emptying his catheter bag, etc.
my partner has a review with his oncologist, over the phone, because he can’t travel to the outpatient clinic without specialist assistance, He is getting very anxious and agitated about what the doctor will say to him……life is so hard sometimes I just want it all to stop….
