No-one tells you how much of a whirlwind diagnosis and treatment is for wife or partner. My husband is a veteran and was at a gathering of veterans when someone mentioned they were getting their PSA tested. No symptoms but as it was free my husband said he would too. That was in end of June, within 4 weeks he had the PSA test, scan, and then biopsy. By 3rd week of July we were preparing for surgery.
All the while everyone was brilliant, caring asking how he was. He was better than i was. All the time I am shouting silently in my head I am not ok. I was scared out of my mind thinking what if's etc.
The operation day came and we are sat waiting in Pre-Op he's laughing and joking , I guess he was just as frightened as I was but neither or us would give in to it and have conversation about it. The operation was a success and he was discharged the next day with a bag of painkillers and tena pads. He also had 28 days supply of injections that he had to have. I have never given an injection in my life and now I'm having to do it daily! For the first 2 weeks he slept in the spare bedroom for fear of the catheter leaking. This is not explained to partners/wives as all the talk is around the cancer and the patient. I'm not saying that is wrong but it should have included my emotions also.
One thing that was explained was the ED that would be caused by the radical removal of the Prostate. We have talked about this together and the conclusion my husband came to was at least he doesn't have cancer! Which yes I agree but it has cost us our intimacy and we are (I'm not) in no way ready to become celibate. That being said he has now been prescribed a pump, had it a week.
And whilst all this was happening my daughter had a miscarriage and we lost my Father in Law. 2025 was in the words of the late queen an Annus Horribilis.
I guess what I am trying to explain that although he had cancer and he had treatment and he had the operation. It affected me as much but only emotionally and I am still trying to deal with this emotionally after ensuring that he is ok and cared for. I am far more emotional now than when this was all happening last year and I think it has finally hit me like a damn train.
