Hi All,
I became a carer for my mum two years ago. She has lung cancer but has been treated with Pembro and the cancer has shrunk and remained stable. However, she had side effects from her treatment that affected her quite badly and has other, old-age related, health problems that mean she needs substantial care.
I gave up my job as a scientist as well as my home, relationship and friends to go back to my hometown and look after her. If I'm honest, I never imagined I would end up being her long term carer - I was totally naive about cancer and thought that people either died or got better.
The past two years have been extremely tough, I have had an anxiety disorder my whole life and I am my mum’s only family so the entire burden of care is on me. I've had some rough times but I'm not quite in the loony bin yet and my mum and I have maintained a close and good relationship, which is the most important thing for me.
As it has became evident that my mum is not at imminent risk of succumbing to her disease, I need to start getting my life back together. I'm currently working as a cleaner and dog walker but have been offered a science post at 0.5 FTE which starts in June. This will mean spending three days per week out of town and I'm feeling incredibly guilty about it. My mum will be fine - she has carers three times per day - but she will be lonely, and I expect I'll get a fair bit (a lot) of emotional pressure over this.
So, I was just wondering, all you long-term carers - how do you maintain a life of your own while caring? And how do you manage the guilt?
Thanks,
M :)
