Feeling Useless

Hi flossy65

First of all can I say how sorry I am to hear of your husbands situation - and yours too. As the partner/carer of someone with terminal cancer it is so hard for us to know what we can do for the best to help our loved ones and who to turn to when WE need help - which all of us do at some point but joining groups like this one is a great first step - we are all going through similar emotional roller- coast rides.

I understand what you say about not knowing how (or why) your husband got this cancer but I truly believe that it's something none of us will never know for sure and as such it may be better to try and focus on what an be done to help each other to cope with the situation that we are faced with rather than dwell on the "how" & "why"

As for help with your hubby's sickness, do you have contact details for his consultant (or the consultants secretary) or maybe a cancer nurse specialist at the hospital. if so try contacting them and asking for medication to ease his discomfort. Alteratively, ask your G.P what can be done?

Finally please try and do things together that you both still enjoy and perhaps seek out local support from places like "Maggies cancer support charity - Google "Maggies" they have drop in centres across the country.

Best wishes to you both and I am here if you ever want to "let off steam"

Hi, 

I know what you mean by the feeling of being sent home and not know where to start!!! I really want to change this for us carers when all this is over! It just is not good enough!! 

I too have found the hospital useless! I am a qualified nurse and have friends in palliative care so they pointed me in the right direction! I have found our local hospice to be our best contact! We don't have a Maggie's centre! They have contacted the district nurses who can arrange equipment and visit etc. The hospice also have advice on symptom control like sickness! There are lots of drugs that can help! Butin the meantime, ginger may help! And make sure he is not constipated!! That will make him feel terrible! My husband got like that and it was a nightmare!!! 

I keep being told we should have a Macmillan nurse etc but how do we get these!!! Try your GP too! He can refer for services like the hospice and district nurses. 

Please message if I can help any more. Take care of yourself too. I just want to get out too and it is hard because they do not have the energy xxx

Hi flossy65, I'm sorry to hear your situation, it's horrible to be left to fend for yourselves after such a worrying diagnosis. I suggest you contact your doctor and explain the situation, they should be able to prescribe something to help with sickness. Hope you get help soon x