For those with a warped sense of humour WARNING- no punches pulled here

I treid to get to you, Jinty, but its a bit scary round here and you neglected to tell me where you live...  wondering if you were doing the sxtate agent trick on me... Another Scot... maybe should have a get together of the Scottish branch of the family at least  next time I am up here... us Glasgow types could go throught to posh Edinburgh and meet Sunny in her tea rooms... oh wait, she's got the bus pass.... hmmmm. Mind you, Jinty's got the Blue badge... I've got nowt - oh I do have a radar key for the loos (oh great, I hear you say.. a lot of use that is...) well, I try and keep up with you lot, but its not easy...

Jinty, its early and I didn't sleep much and that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it....  I read Bue peter badge, ha ha what with that and anette's legs falling off and stinker....  can't remember what i read for her, but it was mad too... even I worry about myself sometimes... I blame the chemo. And they are happy to let me back with children and their education... hmmm what is the world coming to....

Great excuse for you to be on here aaaalllll weekend Jinty haha. Just wanted to say to ange, its not the site perse, that P objects to, its when he wants to sit down and have a cup of tea and a chat and I'm typing at the same time sniggering and saying 'ah hah, hmmm oh really' to him that annoys him which is fair enough really. so have to log off sometimes and give him my attention... i don't know, men... what are they like? actually my brother used to do it to me always being on the computer and it used to annoy me now i don't even notice if he's on it or not ha ha

Anway, off on the train now- 9 hours of staring out the window... a lot of thinking... must make sure I do think of sillies for you and not grumps of what 's waiting the other end... back through edinburgh soon- will giv you a big wave again Sunny! Oh and now I know you live here Jinty, I will wave at you as we leave too and to Christine along the way.. any other scots? Better wave to you lot too. Actually the route this train takes, I will probably pass everyone on the way back. Waves for 9 hours then.... keep me out of mischief eh?

A quixk funny one, brother woke up yesterday with huge swollen glands on his neck and looking like a hamster. We all go," Hmm weird. Probably got an infection or something. Do you feel ok? yeah?oh well...."  and back to the cornflakes..... Can you imagine if it had been me that had woken up lke that? 

Weeping wailers would have been hired from Palestine... the works.....

welcome to the house of cancer hypochondria..I think you will find the facilities amenable......

Speak to you all tomorrow probably unless I can get a miracle signal somewhere today

will miss you

Little My xxxx

Hi everyone

Hubby gone shopping and this has been renamed 'ironing' Haha!

Too complicated to go into whoever commented on why it has to be guilty pleasure, but hubby lost his sense of humour along the way. If he spends hours researching genealogy on the computer that's fine, but he does not get talking on FB (all real friends/family) so would definitely not understand communicating with people I haven't met in the flesh. Hmmm, have been thinking laptop.......

Think it was LM who said about us getting all on the same ward. I wouldn't be able to now, but my nurses would have loved all of you. I'd be saying 'When can I go home?' and they told me i couldn't because they could have a laugh with me ........coloured wee, moving furniture, swearing at doctors, urine output competitions......and they'd have to put up with some mardy person instead!

Ange, Don't feel bad because its not you that has the cancer. I always thought that it was more difficult for those around me. Hubby got jealous of the flowers, cards, and people stopping him everywhere to ask how i was (churchgoer and taught at the local primary school for YEARS, so well known in these parts). I was getting meals and care all the time, while he was having to cope with everything else, youngest son was in middle of A levels and Uni application, daughter was planning a wedding, my parents just couldn't cope, and my dad also had a 5way heart bypass while I was in hospital! Anyway this is too serious for this strand......

John I loved those helpline numbers. John I loved those helpline numbers. John I loved those helpline numbers. Press 8 Press 8 Press 8. Did you come round during surgery or have you overdosed on hospital dramas? I bet you LOVE Casualty and Holby and those lovely nurses uniforms!

Better have a couple of shirts ironed for when you know who comes back

Chins up everyone xxxx

Some of you will of seen this previously, but worth a reminder, feeling in a very small minority on here and almost feel as though some of you ladies may have lost the plot and the proper sense of direction - so just a couple of reminders regarding you conduct and rules of life ok ?

The Man Rules  - OK
 
We always hear  "the rules"  From the female side. 
 
Now here are the rules from the male side.
 
Please note.. These are all numbered "1"  ON PURPOSE!   
 
1.   Men are NOT mind readers; I know we are supposed to be but we are not!         
 
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.You're a big girl.  If it's up, put it down.We need it up, you need it down.. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
 
1. Sunday sports.  It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Do not try to interfere with it!
 
1. Crying is blackmail.
 
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be very clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
 
1. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
 
1. Come to us with a problem  - only if you want help solving it.  That's what we do. - Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
 
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days..
 
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.    Don't ask us.
 
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one ! 
 
1. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
 
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
 
1. Captain Cook & Christopher Columbus did   NOT need directions and neither do we.
 
1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A  colour.. Pumpkin is also a fruit.  We have no  idea what mauve is.
 
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.                                                       
 
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.      
 
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear
 
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really  .
 
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as  golf OR sex.
 
1. You have enough clothes.                                                                                         
 
1. You have too many shoes.                                                                                         
 
1. I am in shape.  Round   IS  a  shape!                                                                             
 
1. Thank you for reading this.yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;   !!
 
But did you know men really don't mind that?  It's like camping.
 
Pass this to as many men as you can - To give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -  To give them an even bigger laugh

Take care xxx

For John.