For those with a warped sense of humour WARNING- no punches pulled here

Well done John!  The tears are running down my face, not least because most of them probably apply to me (not all at the same time thank godness!).

If LM doesn't cough up the Duty Free, I'll let you have what's left of my bottle of Scotch!  Not much of a comparison I know, but it's that or OJ.

By the way LM, the Sofa's lovely, but you must have made a mistake with the measurements, it's now stuck half way up the stairs and the neighbours either have to pole vault over it, or limbo under it!  So as I can't use it, I'm thinking of getting you to take it back some time, would that be ok?

Lots of love, Ann x

Popped out from your Dictators monthly have we Captain John? Joining us for a holiday? or are you too mbusy lobbing pretty ladies who want to be your friend off the site? Do you get the girls and Christine the boys? Do we know who our other leader chumps are? Saw there was one called ann and as we seem to have every ann in the world on this thread... I wonder..... hmmmm are you closing in around me?? furiously not pressing any buttons ha ha

And which numbers would those be Brigadeer eh? eh? you saying we are mental or something??

Forgot you had a problem with directions.... your booze is over at my blog... turn right, right? then left, then right, right... and there you are.... right? Hope Chrstine didn't get there first... share nicely our Camp Commandants.... and I bought it at a shop, cos you just don't listen do you Colonel, you just don't listen... we are not in the 50's anymore however much you wish it to be so and there is no such thing as duty free from the EU but you need presents for being such a sterling chapeven if you won't adopt me,  so go get it (if you can find your way over there without getting lost.. do you want to borrow my sat nav?)xxx

ps annette- making your surgery card now.... aapfhbccihalflwyaaip? card

as a perk from having bl**dy cancer can I have a little face lift while you are at it please?

Will that do?

Pizza smells nice.... and I guess its 7 for me.....

WHAT???? just seen an email come through from Sunny.... last time I bl**dy buy you a present you ungrateful so and so.... harumph.... leave it for the drunks and junkies eh? and maybe you could do with a sit down when you get out of breath too... ha ha actually that would be funny wouldn't it?  All the neighbours climbing over a sofa... and your response....

I've got cancer.... here's my card.

xxxxxx

Little My xxxxxx

Hi LM,

Found the booze - thanks but a bit disapointed, should of guessed though - in your style - Bloody minatures, Christine and I have shared them out - 12 each so better seem greatful I suppose we both had a glass full. You ever tried crem de menth and tonic wine ? bit like the contents of your designer bag I guess

The other commanders are undercover and lurking in dark spots - we have been sent out to distract you  also they worry about our mental state and for some reason thought we were right for this mission - you heared of the 'A' team - we are the 'Z' team - bit harsh huh ??

Not sure how may have had surgery - but its scarry when you wake and hear the surgeons talking huh - I still remember some of the wilder comments !!

Things you don't want  to hear during surgery:

Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
"Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness!"
Spot! Spot! Come back with that! Bad Dog!
Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
Hand me that...uh...that...uh.....thingie.
Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
Damn, there go the lights again...
"You know, there's big money in kidneys. Heck, the guy's got two of them."
Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off.
What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change...!
Anyone see where I left that scalpel?
This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donor card?
Don't worry; I think it's sharp enough.
What do you mean "You want a divorce"!

Err anyone having surgery tomorrow - please do not read !! bit late huh ??

Hugs Guys xx

John xx

hey, well done Brigadeer, you found it!  Did the sat nav help?

I think sunny must be hiding the rest down the back of her sofa...that's why she's going for an early night... sneaking off with all the bottles...

Honestly, you lot are never pleased are you? What's wrong with that combination I ask you...No pleasing some folk.... novelty Tshirts it is next time....

Those did make me laugh out loud, Wing commander.... though you do know I need another op don't you? not sure whether I will be laughing or quaking in my boots now....

Noticed people lurking in the corners... well if its been left to the z team to get me, I think i am safe for a while longer... Commandant Christine is too busy out boozing and Brigadeer John won't find me if I take a quick left turn and hide out the back.... ha ha safe for a big longer... better go and hide for a bit

Big hugs all round too....

Little My xx

Hi LM,

Sorry, you are right - was a little ungrateful, no pleasing some people I know - thank you for the booze and stand corrected about the Duty Free comment - suppose I am giving my age away there. Never had Rolo flavoured vodka before - you must tell me the secret of how you smuggled it in sometime maybe ?

Well on a more positive note - tee shirts NEXT TIME - great !! so this was not the last trip then - glad you are on a hgh or is that the gin maybe mate ?

Hugs xx

John xx

ha ha Brigadeer, you found out my smuggling secret....! well, the sofa was in the bag, so the booze had to go somewhere else didn't it? Onl;y kidding about the duty free etc, I know you are a spring chicken really.... just pretend to be old to make us lot feel better. :o)

Yes!!, you are right,!!!I said next time didn't I?!?  ha ha!!  better not be the last time then eh? Get in!!! Guess i must be on a high as I am back to being teatotal UK again.... phew says Little My's liver.....

and 4 kisses... maybe if i keep chipping away, I could get a Oben grubenfuhrer for a dad  after all...ha ha even better.

Sleep tight Brigadeer and a big hug xxx

Oh no,

With all the excitement of Little My's return from Sweeden and all the "non duty free" and smuggling of gifts, we missed the celebration of the 200th post on this thread.

Soooooo .........

Streamers and bangers, whoooosssshhhhhh and a bang.

Better late than never.

Some facts I thought you might like to know

We now have half as many posts as the Dumb thing thread has.
The 200th post on this thread was made by Little My.

Goodnight

Susan

Hoorah! Whoo hoo... well spotted Sue!! Lets celebrate with G&Ts...

and I got the 200th Get in!! What's my prize?

Actaully it is quite frightening that we have got half way to dumb already and that has been going for years and there are only a few of us and we haven't been going for long... how have we managed to find so much rubbish to write about???

Long may it last... viva la warped and all who sail in her... and any other mixed metaphor you may care to mention....

Goodnight all

Little My xxx

John, love the phone line numbers, can we have an option to press 0 at any time if the effect was caused by cancer, or perhaps it should be a cancer card? "Suffering mentally due to cancer (SMDC)"

LM, A prize umm where could we get one of those from?
If anyone has any duty free left down the back of the sofa or in the boot of the car can they spare some as a prize for Little My please?  I'll play the "Husband has cancer so we have no money card (HHCSHNM)"

By the way interesting fact for you Dumb things has only been running one month longer than the Warped thread. But I think Dumb things was a spin off from another thread, sorry don't know what one. Dumb was started on 12 June 2011 and Warped started on 24 July 2011.

Sorry, pressing button 1 continuously now :-) and shutting up :-|

Glad you got back ok LM. Its not rain we've been having, its the tears flowing from LM. Any chance of your family making a visit to see you here? I'm sure you're going to amaze everyone and pester them again next year!

As for the permanent brain damage, sure I got that too, but it will help when you go back to school (Don't have to be mad to work there but it helps!)

My absences from here, I need to remind you, are due to this being my secret vice. Have to slip on when hubby is not around. Ha ha!

Oh yes, we now get a cancer card for life in England. When I was first having treatment if my consultant had got tablets for me to take as part of the treatment they were kept on the ward for me, but if i got an infection and prescription was written I had to pay. Thankfully a few months in and they brought out free prescriptions for cancer patients FOR LIFE! This covers anything whether it is related to the cancer or not. Whoopee dooo!

Hubby getting suspicious so will disappear for now.

BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE