For those with a warped sense of humour WARNING- no punches pulled here

morning all

Firstly welcome to Lorna. I hope the first bit made sense as it was a converstation with someone called Sunny and she deleted all her posts when she left the site, (bit like Voldemort or Macbeth, which we don't talk about) any way... glad it made you laugh.

You made me laugh thinking of sticking the nipple on Bob... like tail on the donkey?

You could hire yourself out to parties perhaps.... My brpther made 'stoma boobs' by taking a photo of my stoma which from a distance loooks like a boob and doubled it up. Well, it put everyone off dinner and he got it all.

How much fun you could have with stick on nipples... Oh! I dare you to stick one on your head during ward rounds.....

Now what I came on to say was....

I am amazed to see that simple steps to get back at  people who scam us online. Easy to register and annoy online at low prices. More special and exclusive offers for new and exciting cancerite techniques to choose from for kicking spammers. I had ordered thwacking her with a door with about 70% off. We have more choices to choose from different torture weapons at www. isn'thavingcancerenough withouthavingtoputupwiththisshite?

Now, if only I could see to read what our new friend MaryPaul wrote.... maybe I need glasses....

Good luck with the Bob op, Lorna. Oh,oh oh if you stuck 2 on your forehead you could pretend to be a baby devil or faun... Can I have some to play with????

Hugs all round- sitting here freezing again witht he builders witht he door open. THey are putting down a rough slab of Welsh slate (bumpy and unpolished etc) for our new hearth... its beautiul!!

Little My xxxxxx

Good morning All,

Don't forget Ryan's cheap Uggly boots and paraphanalia ....... oh, I think he's been rumbled !

Joycee xx

PS Could do with some cheap new glasses, too ...... the bottom of my Guinness glass is far too thick !

"Oh! I dare you to stick one on your head during ward rounds....."

Oh oh, never dare someone with a warped sense of humour hehehe, I can just see my consultants face as he walks towards me!

You got me started now, thinking about sticking one on the Enter key on my keyboard at work - talk about freak out the IT techs!

Or what about one on my Driving Licence, can you just imagine the coppers face if I get stopped?

The options are endless for some fun and mirth :)

Time for my shower now, pack me bag, hug the puppies (how am I gonna sleep without my puppy in the bed - he is my little snuggler). Say ta ta to the tortoise and snakes, no more cuddling my burmese python for a few weeks, she is gonna be so grumpy LOL

At least I will have my iPhone so I can watch these threads and have a few giggles in the ward.

Ta ta for now :)

Welcome Lorna and good luck today!!!

Just had a hilarious moment in the office, the lady I work with wanted to go through a process diagram so I said we should do it on the white board as we could rub stuff out, but she couldn't reach the whiteboard cos she's a bit short!! our boss offered to go buy her some steps from the early learning centre

Tom's got the sniffles so is hibernating til Friday

Happy Warpy Valentines day all

xxxx

PS Like the flat screen TV idea!! can't remember who wrote that sorry! just need to find someone who has budget and is willing to pay for one ;) Although in an open plan office and 4 women out of 40 people what's the betting they would put footy on??

Hello to my lovely warpy friends,

Welcome Lorna and it's obvious you fit in here good and proper!! You'll be there now I suppose so goodbye alien and Hi Bob. Hey Bob, looks like you've gotta share your nips out 'cos we all want a play, oooooooooooo now does that sound wrong or what??? You just gotta put one on your head on ward round though and take a photo for us all tee hee.

Handy living in wales with all that slate around eh LM. It sounds lovely, we have to do with imitation marble or pay a fortune out haha. When will the fireplace be up and running and nice and cosy?

Hilary, After your ordeal yesterday I hope your head will soon be in a better place, but as per LM's instruction I have my woolies and sandals on and here goes ......... Kuyabarrrrrrrrr deeee daaaaaa Kunty laaaaaaaaaa de dAAAAAAA oh lordy lordy dord.

Well, just thought i'd let you all know; my mum decided to give dads dog to my sister, who lost hers a few months ago (i mean it died not got lost haha). It's all worked worked out for the best, my mum gets the peace she wanted, the dog gets a busy family home of dog lovers who'll welcome him and adore him. My sister is touched saying she feels closer to my dad when she walks the dog, so all is good yay.

Catch you all later

Jan xxxxxxxxxx

Hi all

Right striped knitted knee socks on and sandals Join hands and here I go Kumbyyarrrr My lord Kumbyyaaaaaaar sorry had to stop the dog is howling like a wolf and neighbours knocking on the wall so will mime with gusto for the benefit of all.

Welcome to Lorna hope all goes well and Alien gets what he deserves then hello to the lovely Bob.

How many nips are they giving Lorna and will there be enough to go around as we all want to play how many games can we make up using stick on nips?

Hope you can stick one on your head for the benifit of the consultant and his team.

Hope the fire place is coming along LM and you will be soon burning logs who is going foraging for the logs do not think you can be trusted with an axe let alone a saw

Also hope Tom has managed to shake off the impending man flu

Really glad the dog has found a good and happy home.

Hugs to all 

Cruton xxxxx

Here's one for Hilary... !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcoekyMCWzg

The bloke at the front reminds me of the meerkat...

Woodburner being installed today.. fireplace is ready! And then I can get the cats back form the cattery... I am missing them so much.

BTW, no one mentioned the pube song.... are you all traumatised?

Cruton, I have a chainsaw license would you believe? I was a lumberjack in a previous incarnation before becoming a teacher... :)

I keep thinking of places to stick nips. You could pretend you were a witch too hehe

Love to you all... got to say oooh and ahhh and over there to the builders...

Little My xxxx

Thats fab Jan about your dad's dog! :)

Tom's man flu seems to be ongoing, but he did manage to get me some flowers yesterday! I nearly fell over from the shock haha

Nina's gone off her food, took her to the vets last night, turns out she has a mouth ulcer, poor thing

The decorating in the office doesn't seem to be making much of a difference and no-one seems on board with the TV idea or paintings/pics looking like windows. I may bring a sledgehammer in and just knock a window in.  Who cares about lintels and things like that

No nutty lady in today yey!!

One of Tom's uni assignments is to come up with an idea for what to build on a building plot (it used to have a cinema on it) - any ideas? Warpy ones welcomed!! I suggested a mini golf course but I think he poo pooed that one as its not a building haha  Ooh my friend Phil has just suggested a casino!!

Hugs and spoons

CCL xxxx

Everybody busy at the weekend so nothing for hours, then i have a couple of days not able to visit and pages to catch up on

Song for CCL to sing to neice..."LM's a lumberjack and she's ok......"

My little grandson visited us for the first time yesterday, and it was the first time that he has been awake for a length of time. Granny, being a warpie, spent most of the time singing silly songs to him, and pulling faces. His mummy has sent me a text this morning to say that he has been awake HOURS playing. I guess I was over stimulating the little darling. Reminds me of when hubby and I went to an parents' night when our youngest was at secondary school, and a teacher said she thought he had ADHD. HA! I soon put her right and told her that he was a normal teenager who was used to stimulating conversation at mealtimes, and because he might question her did not mean he was ADHD.

Anyway, somehow I had missed Annette's news. Wahey to those kinds of lumps, and great to have some good news. I think we were all a little concerned when she dropped off the radar.

Hope Hils is ok after her crap day on Monday.

That's good news about the dog Jan...the best solution all round. Didn't realise your mum is the same age as me.

Tom could build a Warpies Meeting Room...stocks of nipples, bags etc would be there with tea and coffee (Gin and Tonic for Jan) and we could play pin the nipple, nipplewinks, nipple bingo......

Hope all went well for the new recruit (Lorna/Laura/ whatever LM has renamed her!!!) and welcome!

Spoons for Lorna, Hils, Ems and all who need them

Louise xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

PS LM are you going to be practising a bit of deforesting to feed your woodburner? Watch the sausages!

Oh LM Hilary does not deserve it 

I know you have been traumatised by Cheep Cheep and others but this must be the worst.

Couldn't make my mind up if he was singing my heads in my arse my arse in my head and he does look like a meerkat

Little pube song made me laugh and there were a few others on there that were very rude and very funny so had to listen to one or two out of curiosity just to see which was the best and Little pube was the winner

YOU HAVE A CHAINSAW LICENSE what mentally deficient person issued you with that She's a lumber jack and she is alright works all day and sleeps all night lalalala la I have set the dog off howling again no one likes my singing can sort of picture you in a checked shirt big boots and a beard with axe over your should going off to attack trees.

When chopping you could imagine nasty colleagues makes the axe fly faster I name my golf balls after anyone who pisses me off and then give em a good whack it is so therapeutic.

Unfortunately not been able to golf due to op so have lots of pent up stuff here is hoping I can play in the summer and knock the ball for miles I will also write the name of your nasty colleagues on a couple of balls and knock them as far and as hard as I can

Louise has come up with lots of excellent games we can all play if Lorna is willing to share her abundant supplies of nips.

Hugs To All

Cruton xxxx