My partner passed in 2019 after a 12 year battle with cancer. She fought and beat cancer many times but in the end she had Leukaemia and after a 4 month battle, she left behind my stepdaughter and me after 17 wonderful years together.
Around 2022 a lady who works in my local supermarket started getting the same bus to home. She lived around the corner to me with her boyfriend who is not a nice person. We started talking and I mentioned about my partner passing, this is when she replied that she has been fighting breast cancer since 2013 but is in remission and still receiving treatments. We have been travelling together at least 2 times a week and really get on.
About 3 weeks ago she left her boyfriend after he basically attacked her and is back home with her parents. She has asked me if we can go out as Friends sometimes and I'm happy too as she doesn't have any. Last night we agreed to meet up during Easter weekend for a drink.
The thing is I get the feeling she may want to be more than just friends, she is gorgeous, strong, a bit dipsy and very funny, just my type. We do get on really well and I would love to be more than friends but I'm worried about losing her to cancer. Losing my partner was so devastating and I think about her all the time. She would want me to move on and so does my stepdaughter who still lives with me.
I just don't know what to do and really don't want to hurt this lady with my worries of losing her if we get close together.
Hello Djaxster
My name is Steph and I’m part of the Community team here at Macmillan. May I wish you another warm welcome to the Community, I hope you will find it to be a safe place of comfort and support.
I was so sorry to read about the passing of your partner in 2019 and for the way that this is affecting how you feel about a potential new relationship.
I have moved your post here into the bereaved spouses and partners forum so you can connect with more people in similar circumstances to you. Whilst you are waiting for members to reply, I hoped it might be helpful to share some similar conversations. Although there are a lot of members here who are coping with a recent death of a spouse or partner, there are also people talking openly about dating and relationships following bereavement.
13 months after losing my spouse
A story of life, loss and love.
If you click on each link, you can read the conversation. I hope it helps you feel less alone to know that others are talking about their feelings about relationships.
You might also find this information about new relationships after the death of a partner from Cruse Bereavement UK to be helpful to have a read through.
If you’d like to talk anything through with an expert at Macmillan, I’d encourage you to contact the Support Line. Our Support Line teams are available 7 days a week, 8am-8pm on freephone 0808 808 00 00, email or live webchat.
Please do let us know if you have any questions or if you’d like some help using the Community or further support with anything at all. I hope that the Community helps you feel less alone and shows you that there’s a lot of support available for you.
Kindest Regards,
