Well What Can One Say

It will come back......eventually

Hi Ellie,

I have noticed it too. I miss the old closeness too..I wonder why they feel the need to modulate us now. It feels intrusive.

Hope we get our old site too but then the only way is to continue ourselves and keep posting.

Love and hugs Alison xxx

I totally agree. And I can't send private messages. When so many of us are complaining now, they have to see that the new site isn't working for us.

Hi, I've just come on for the first time in about 4 days just to see who's about and how they are. It's not the same, difficult to navigate and too much hassle signing in all the time. I do miss the old site with its friendly banter. Take care everyone. Ali x

Hi all. 
i do find the site difficult too  I do read the posts  was in nites last week  the old site was so easy to use  

Hope you are all well I’ve been down sometimes come to a decision I need to find something 

forgiveness I think I wish I could have stop Diane’s death but could not and I need forgive Diane for leaving me I i been feeling like it for days has any one of my virtual friends got the answer  

take care 

martin x 

Hi Martin

Nice to hear from you.

I am not sure why you feel you need to be forgiven. How could you have stopped your lively Diane getting cancer and then dying from it? You can't have those powers, if you did you would be a real life Jesus. 

I understand your guilt because I think I should have spotted Ric was unwell, I am an experienced qualified nurse but no I saw no symptoms. I couldn't make it go away and in my heart of hearts as soon as they said it was lung cancer, my gut instinct was he would die quickly. I had seen it often. But I wanted to believe he had longer I guess so I was shocked when he went so quickly. 

As hard as it is, try to remember all the good times. If you think her care and treatment was wrong, contact PALS. I finally did do last week as an informal chat. I am glad I did. I was able to tell them I was disappointed and angry about things and I was listened to! It has helped. 

Always here for a chat

Love Alison xxx

How are the night shifts working out for you  martin e? Your presence has been missed! The site is a chew on atm but I'm sure it will settle down eventually maybe!!! Don't be so hard on yourself, we are all looking for reasons why we didn't see things coming. Because we haven't been in that situation before we wouldn't know what to look for. We are good people trying to do right for our partners and we can do that by honouring their memory. 

Take xare and stay safe

Hi Alison and bootsy D

i have had the counselling  not sure it helped it may take me a long time 

I need to be hard on myself   
if you stay busy for 7 days a week like we all try to do so you don’t think as much 

Diane had a bad back for a couple months the doctors thought she had pulled it then she lost weight took her to hospital died a week later  had cancer in seven places she seem to be brighter in hospital but they gave her loads of water and doctors keep saying it will be okay 

the roads are empty at night a was going down the m40 one nite did not see any one for a hour  messes eating and sleeping  but do not sleep well any way.  I’ve got to decide if I want to go on nites permanent back on days listening to all moaners I work with that gets you down 

take care 

Martin x

Hi Martin

So good to see you.

You did nothing wrong to be forgiven for,  Diane did not have any say in the matter it was not her choice.

I could think the same i should have gone first i was diagnosed two years before Tom and did not think that he would get a diagnosis  and be gone in a short space of time.

For me was it a guilt feeling, i do not know. i used to say when i go this is what i would like and he used to listen and told me what his plans would be.

Do i blame him for going, he had no choice, and i say it should have been me, i was diagnose,first. i know deep down by the person he was and how much he loved me, he would rather it was him than me.

So i felt a bit guilty and i should not as he would not want that.

Really nice to see you.

Take Care Elliexx

You wonder how Drs miss the signs of cancer but if that isn't their 'field' how would they know what the symptoms were? I do understand why you're hard on yourself-  think we all torture ourselves with the 'shoulda woulda coulda' thing I am guilty of that too as I'm sure many more are. 

Keeping busy is both easy and difficult don't you think? I start off wirh good intentions then get distracted so easily. The counselling will have been online I guess. I want counselling but in a group setting I think, there'll be more interaction that way, maybe? 

Stay alert in them nasty dark roads martin e