Strangest first Christmas alone.

Hi Glostp

You mirrored my sentiments exactly. My Anne and I were married 50yrs. And my first Christmas without her. Keep safe my friend 

Love and Light 

Geoff

Hi

I agree with you both.

We where married 53 years a life time.

The children tell me to start doing things for me like what, we did every thing together.

He was the other half of me, i fill lost, i am not me any so who am i.

He was my Rock, My Clown always made me laugh, he was my life i just fill alone, even when our children are here

Waiting for our son to turn up driving down from Lincoln, have not see him since day after the Funeral i know i will get upset.

I wish us all a peaceful coming year,

Take Care Ellie x

"You Never Walk A Lone"

Dear All 

I see life now as the ocean  liner of life ploughing  through the sea of existance with me being pulled reluctantly  behind in a tiny boat on the end of a rope. Oh how I wish I could cut that rope and send my boat down to the depths. But the love from  my family and good supportive friends prevents me from doing this. So how much longer can this rope take the strain?  Or will one day my little boat find an engine and guide me free to an acceptable existance of my own?  

Love and Light 

Geoff

Oh I love that metaphor Geoff, and I really hope all of us on here will find our engines and motor on to our different lives and be, if not happy, then at least content. 

Hi Ellie, thanks for your reply. Its comforting to hear agreement and to know so many of us have similar thoughts.

I always thought of Amanda as part of me, I now know how true that thought was as I'm functioning as a shadow of what we both were as one.

We spent alot of time travelling after retirement both loved the places we visited but now my only thought is why would I want to do that on my own.?

I drove back from my sons yesterday a long silent journey missing the banter the company and not having anything to look forward to as a couple. Its five months and just feel my life is on pause.

Geoff as always we have similar thoughts our situation and times are so similar, thanks for your agreement although I already know you understand.

Last year I wished everyone a hoppy new years wish it turned out to be the most painful and awful year I could have imagined. The diagnosis, the slow but relentless, decline, watching my beloved fading whilst doing my best to look after her, but never failing to to tell her i love her every day. I still tell her morning and evening every day. 2019 the worst year of my life. I could say next year will be better but for me without my lifelong friend how can anything be better?

I hope we find something positive in all our lives I just can't see it yet.

Gary.

It's only been almost 5 months since I lost Graham. We had been together 26 years but only got married 2019.

Lead up to Christmas was okay, got through it however tonight everything seems much harder. I feel heartbroken, and cannot bear going into a new year without him.

Hi Mo1967. I completely know where you are coming from. I lost my Darling Wife Tina on the 18/12/19 so everything is still very raw. I got through Christmas Day by releasing a balloon with a note on to her, went for a Pint of shandy and left half behind the bar for her. I then went for a Very long walk. We had been together for 26 years and married for 25 of them. She has been my soulmate for all my adult life and tomorrow is going to be horrendous. Like you tomorrow is the start of a New Year and I'm alone. I hate going to sleep with just her pillow to hold and waking up on my own. It's awful. We have to get through it the best way we can. Just think would Graham want you to be sad?

God Bless You & Be Strong. You will get through it.

John

With you on that Mo, was in Tescos tonight shopping and found myself having a few tears. I expect the other shoppers must have thought ‘prices aren’t that bad’.

I lost my Sharon 3 months ago and it’s also her birthday New Years day, can’t face being at home so have booked to go to London for a few days, whilst in tescos thought I’d print off a photo to take with me, hence the tears. Dimwit that I am though paid for it but left it in the basket so back tomorrow for same routine, hopefully no tears this time.

Thing is Sharon was the most positive person you could ever meet and I know she will be ghostily kicking my arse when she’s sees me sad, she told me as much.

I’ll be glad to see the back of this year and hopefully next year will bring me the strength to be positive, that’s what Sharon and probably all our partners would want for us all