I don't know how to cope with loss

Why does love have such a high price? How do we move forward after such an experience? It's now seven and a half months for me and I feel just as lost, if not moreso now, than in the beginning. Last night I was feeling so desperately lonely that I slept with my husband's pyjamas next to me on the bed. I thought to myself that if anyone were to know of this, they'd think I was stark raving mad. And who knows, maybe I am. How do we move through and out of this grief? There's no escape, just distractions that probably make things worse. I'm sorry if I'm being particularly depressing but I'm having a hard time right now. The fact that I'd spent a month with family and friends has accentuated the emptiness of my apartment. Coming back home with no-one to greet me and pick me up at the airport was rough and I feel as though all of this has thrown me back. I'm actually thinking of consulting a therapist since I obviously cannot do this by myself anymore. There are so many questions and no answers; so much sadness and no relief.
What will our new normal look like?

May we all find some kind of strength to cope with the next day and the next.

Hi Limbo

This is exactly how i feel and all of us. 

I also sleep with my husbands T shirt. I put it under my head so i can smell him. I also take it everywhere with me. I will never wash it as i don't want his smell to disappear .

I want to see a therapist too. Trying to keep distracted, do things, but nothing seems to eas the pain. 

My husbands family is not close to me. Only got a few friends who have their own life and families. 

This forum is the only place we can be open and honest. Yes, friends listen bur they don't want to listen our pain all the time. 

Sending my love to you all

Lets hope for a brighter day

Andrea

My husband only passed away a bit more than two weeks ago. This week is very hard but by sounds of it, it will be very hard for some time if not for rest of life...

I am so glad I found this forum. For me writing and putting emotions on paper, gives some relief from pain. 

However, nights seems really the problem for me at the moment and often butterflies in stomack.

Like in Elton John song I hope some day we:

Just let me wake up in the morning

To smell of new mown hay

To laugh and cry, to live and die

In the brightness of my day....

Try to have a bright day where ever you are today

Cool and the gang cherish I find a good song or gladis Knight and the pips your the best thing that ever happened to me but I'm in tears when u listen to them

Hi Newb

Music is therapeutic. I often listen to Chris Rea as he was his number one musician so as mine. We went to see him twice. 

My husband always used to tell me i am the best thing that has ever happened to him. That he's found happiness with me. He was 52 when we met. Before that he was lonely for many years.

The life is harsh. Its not fair we have to lose our loved ones this way. 

Andrea

On Joy and Sorrow from The Prophet, Kahlil Gibran:

"...Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.

And the selfsame well from whih your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.

And how else can it be?

The deeper the sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.

...

When you are joyous, look again in your heart, and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.

When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

...

Together they come, and when sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed."

Hello everybody,

As you can see from my last post, I've been reading over Gibran and I thought I'd share another piece with you. It just seems so apt right now.

On Pain
 Kahlil Gibran

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.


Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity:
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,
And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.

Thank you so much all for support . I will be in complete despair  as my husbands funeral soon. I thought it might be easier but I think this will be the most difficult day in my life. 

I saw my year old nephew today. He is so bright and gorgeous. My in laws so supportive and also my husbands brothers family but they got distraction to help through this difficult time... 

From the day we arrive on the planet
And blinking, step into the sun
There's more to be seen than can ever be seen
More to do than can ever be done

It has been so hard day yesterday...funeral. It was very good service and many people family, friends, work colleagues came. However, in the evenings now it is so sad and lonely. It is heartbreaking. 

Dear Kristy,

My heart goes out to you. I know how strange and unreal all this must be feeling. Continue to mourn  and honour your spouse in whatever way you need to. Every Thursday i light a candle for my husband as he died on a Thursday. On the 20th of every month I listen to the two songs I played at the burial. That's my way but you'll find what's right for you.

IWrite and reach out to us whenever you need to.