Hi,
I am new to this form (and forums in general). I lost my husband three week's ago yesterday and the funeral is tomorrow.
I am not sure what I am looking for but just wanted to speak to people that are in the same horrible club.
I am but really sure what I am meant to do now. Everyone keeps telling me how incredibly I am doing but firstly I don’t have a choice and secondly that us only what I show in public.
Is it normal to feel this lonely but also not be able to be around people yet?
Any guidance would be greatly appreciated
C
As Kate says, this forum has been the biggest help to me.
More than family and friends who have not lost their beloved, their soulmate, their glue.
More than the counsellor or the mental health nurse. They were / are brilliant to talk to, for me face to face.
People will give you advice, words of “wisdom”, catchphrases.
I have to remind myself that they are trying their true best to help and support me, but without that inner pain, raw overwhelming grief, loneliness, sadness, they can never know what I am going through.
In the words of Spock to McCoy “you have to have died and been reborn to be able to converse on the subject” (paraphrasing there!).
You may loose people you thought of as friends and find friends you never knew where always on the sidelines.
I have cut out of my life a few negative energy so called friends.
If you have a wardrobe with some of his clothes in it’s a great place to hide in and scream.
As is the shower for crying.
And hoovering covers the sound of your grief as well. Especially in this warm weather with doors and windows open.
Above all don’t let anyone tell you what you should be doing. Where you should be on this cracked, crooked, winding back on itself, swamp of a path.
You do it your own way, at your own pace.
Haha, just read my words and already told you what to do 
So come on this site to rant, tell us about your love, how you are feeling as we do understand.
I will take a moment tomorrow and think of you x
