I don't know how to cope with loss

I'm sorry for your loss you are amongst a lot of people here that know how you feel it is a horrible feeling but you will find comfort in all the friends you make here and the kind words and support you will get

I wish there were words to make it better. I feel like you, not knowing how to cope. The future seems daunting especially as i have important décisions to make in the coming months. All I can say is what everyone says: one day at a time. I feel your loss, your pain., , your emptiness and sense of bewilderment..Hold on to whatever you can.

Hi I am so sorry for your loss. My wife passed away 4 weeks today . I know exactly how you feel. The emptiness and loneliness is just terrible. I just don’t know what the future holds  

Mike

Hi, Thank you very much for compassion. There was a hope in March that my husband will be clear of cancer, unfortunately after aggressive chemo, his cancer progressed very quickly to terminal stage. 

It was heartbreaking. I guess one day at a time that is the only way forward. The only things that keeping me sane at the moment is to organizing  things and listening to music. 

I don't think there is one way to cope, Kirsty. All you can do now is hold on. A friend told me to just "breathe in, breathe out", and that about sums up how I got through those early, terrible days. Your husband was very young and it is cruel. beyone bearing.  Hold on. 

The same thing happened to my husband. The first 6  months of chemotherapy were very encouraging. There was hardly anything left, then 3 months later the results were devastating. Everything flared up again and 6 months later he died. The doctors did tell us it was incurable but I refused to believe it.

Do whatever helps you. I'm trying to paint to forget things a little but I still cry everyday and I miss him sorely.

Only we know how much it hurts to lose a loved one. The pain is unbearable. I keep myself busy or i am trying but the pain is there deep inside. Then it gets worse at night. If i manage to fall asleep, i wake up very soon with anxiety and fear. I tried sleeping pills but did not help. I woke up after two hours feeling anxious. Now i only have calming tea or hot milk with honey. The loneliness and emptiness is horrendous. The enjoyment of doing things is gone.

I put photos of my beloved husband Rob in each room so i can see him and talk to him anywhere in the house. I keep asking him for to give me strength for survival. 

I had a couple of friends around me. It felt a bit better and it encouraged me to do things. But soon after my anxiety  and loneliness are back. I know the friends are there for me but i cannot expect them to be there for me 24/7. They all have their families and their own lives and i feel guilty to cry and talk about my pain and loss.

I tried to join local groups but with no luck yet. The local hospice has refused me because my husband wasn't their inpatient. He died at home. An other group that runs within a local hospital meet up ones a month only so the next meeting is not due till September. 

The only place i feel i can talk is here in this online community. I wish we could meet with a cuppa and hug each other ans cry together. 

I am thinking of you all. Sending you all my love and hugs. 

I hope Mike is having  a nice time with his family in England. 

Andrea

I know what you mean. When I'm around people, I manage to forget a little and to laugh but as soon as I find myself alone at home, it all hits me again and I spend my time crying. I'm finding it harder and harder to talk to others about my pain because I keep getting the impression that they no longer want to know or are just uncomfortable with the situation. It might be my imagination but, as you rightly said, Lavender1969, we can't impose on our friends forever. 

I would be interested in knowing if any of you dream of your spouses and if these dreams bring you comfort. I keep having this recurring dream where my husband seems fine; the lymph node that he had on his neck has disappeared and he's back to normal. Just when I begin to feel hopeful, he tells me that the cancer is still there. I wake up feeling miserable and all the pleasure of having dreamt of him dissipâtes

Wherever you are, thank you so much for taking the time to write, for offering your support and for understanding. 

I have only had one dream my wife walked out of a door hugged me and left when I woke up my pillow was  wet with crying in my sleep since then u have has nothing. Very frustrating

Hi 

So sorry for your loss. It is the most painful thing to deal with.

I am I just nr 4 months down the line and my posts are all over the place one week il write I feel a bit ok next week I’m on the floor not wanting to be here. It’s a horrendous journey we are all on I take great comfort in the ones that have been on this journey longer than us given us encouragement that it will gets a bit easier we will learn to deal with out grief a bit better. 

Higs to you all Jane X