Anger

You know, Peter, I can read your despair and your anger in your message to the group just now.

It sounds like your lindsey was a wonderful wife and you had a very special relationship. That's why you are in so much pain now that she is gone.

But, Peter, lindsey is gone and nothing and no-one can bring her back. Over time, you will be able to live with the loss and despair and anger will turn into bearable sadness. But you have to want that to happen. It is something that you have to actively want and pursue. If you start your day and then go through the day thinkin "lindsey is no longer here now. Life is hell. And it's a hell I can't get out of. And I can't trust anyone." that is exactly the experience you are going to have. Why not think, "Okay, lindsey is gone, which makes me deeply sad. But I'll have to try and make the most of my life now without her. Especially because that's what she would want." When you allow that kind of positive thinking to take shape in your mind, you will find that the anger and despair change, there is more of an option to actually life life rather than "in hell"

What I am saying is: Yes, grief can make us very, very negative sometimes, sometimes quite a lot, but it doesn't have to be like that.

As for trusting people, I can see that you feel betrayed and let down by the system and by many people in your life. But the thouht "I can't trust anyone" is not going to help is it? It will only make your anger stronger. Why not think "Okay, maybe I can trust some people". What for example about us here? You choose to come online and send us all your thoughts and feelings, and we haven't betrayed your trust have we? We are always here to listen.

I say it one last time: lindsey would not want you to give up on life.

its just hard i have very bad mental health problems ...and i tried using services when linzi was here and none of them helped..thats when lindsey decided she would help and she was a councillor she is the only person to help me ....and my daughter ...they both understand me how im wired ....i try trust ppl but ppl get wrapped up in there own worlds ..how can one trust another person when all my life apart from three ppl everyone has walked away from me ...im a sensative person but there is nothink in life anymore for me ....linzi was my life .......i guess now i know why people like robert johnson sang the blues in 1930....a man cant live without his love,,,,,i see where im headed .....my mind is concrete when it comes to being loyal and i will wait in sadness all my life to be back with my lindsey ..