First Birthday

Hello Vicki (from another Vicky)

That is a lovely way to remember your husband. When it was my husband Jay's first birthday without him I didn't know how to feel either but like yourself I looked on it as being thankful that we had had lots of previous birthdays to share together. I am 3 years in now from losing him in June 2023 but I tend not to `mark` these occasions and just remember him with fondness and I can remember those times now with a smile. They will always be with you in some way or another. Take Care. 

Vicky x

I sometimes wake up and think this day isn't feeling so bad . But it usually catches up with me by the end of the day. So don't be surprised if your mood changes. Maybe for some the anticipation of these special/ significant days coming up  is worse . I wish I could just be grateful that We had so many years together . If only he had not been suffering for so many of them it might have been easier to remember with fondness. I should be glad he's no longer suffering ,but all I think about is that I want him back and I didn't do enough to keep him here. Hopefully with more time passing I might get to that point. I'm trying to focus on other things ,but it's not easy when the mind keeps on ruminating over the regrets I have . I hope your day is an easy one . 

Im still in my first year of anniversaries etc and so far, the anticipation has been worse than the day. Its my birthday coming up and my friend is taking me out for breakfast, jyst to make sure Im not alone. For me the two worst dates have been our wedding anniversary and the anniversary of being told there was no more treatment, ie no more hope. I probably linger on those, its not that I intend to remember, I just do. 

I hope you enjoy whatever you do to honour him, plum1972