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Well that wasn't fun, i for some reason though the lung surgery to remove a few nodules would leave me in the same amount of pain as last years surgery to remove my chest lymph nodes
well it got the same name, same scars, so why not the same pain,
wrong, it bloody hurt when i came round, and nearly two weeks late still hurts
I had a successful TUG reconstruction for BC and after serious consideration eventually opted for a second preventative TUG. The second operation was from my perspective a very disappointing and upsetting experience. Following the operation I had no feeling at all in my 'donor' leg below the knee, the muscles in the rear of my thigh were also paralysed. My foot hung down and I was unable to pull my toes up towards my shin so I had to wear a splint night and day to hold my foot in position...
I finally got my appointment at UCHL It was Friday just gone. I was called on the phone at 6.30 Thursday night. a total surprise. "It's a nice hospital". I saw Professor Kelly but my consultant did not turn up. but this Professor was totally human. I liked him Instantly. he answered all my question's without sounding like. well like a consultant. I will be going In sometime this week so that he can "take a look Inside" just to satisfy his own mind that nothing else can be done. then I will be admitted...
I do have a desk with a beautiful view! But cancer, do I really know what it is like? With my own diagnosis almost ten years behind, I am wondering if I am just a middle class army brat with an attitude? As this week I have spoken to a retired doctor whose wife died from liver secondaries and a grandmother of a 24 year old diagnosed with a brain tumor, there is a lot to listen to but not much I can say...
A toast to the people who I won't impress,
They love you, they tell me, I have...
The season is declining, a changing in the light,
The days are drawing colder and yet that is alright,
My time too, now in autumn, because I'm glad to say,
They did the operation upon a summers' day...
So many friends they tell me that growing old is sad,
But swapping a few wrinkles for life can't be that bad?
Okay July is over, bikinis not now wise,
That isn’t from the boob job, it's chocolate on my thighs!
I'm like the well shook rag doll with stuffing hanging...
Can something ever be nothing, once it's inside your head?
Can we turn back where we started, get a new thought there instead?
So intelligent and funny, I'm accustomed to your way,
You are fragile, I'm the mummy, and uncertain what to say?
I can upbeat, that's my job, but this time it is us,
This is real and I must talk to you without making a fuss!
So I can't it kiss better, make you a favourite meal,
A plaster just won't fix this, and Tinkerbell's not real......
I went back to the clinic on Thursday to get results after my op. The clinic was absolutely packed and we didn't get seen for nearly 2 hrs. I had to keep going out for some air it was so hot and I felt like passing out. The first thing my consultant said was "you were right" it was cancer in your left breast!" This is after an MRI and a vacuum biopsy telling me it wasn't likely to be and me having to really stand my ground whilst I felt like the team were trying to persuade me to leave my left breast...
Had my check up with the consultant and it was a weird to be back at the RBH. It brought it home to me there is nothing else to conquer now and it's just me allowing my body to recover.
Popped in to work before hand which I think threw me menally because everyone tells you you look great even though you are feeling dreadful inside. Then you feel like you ought to be feeling better than you are then you're down on yourself.
Got to the ENT outpatients for a 3.45 appointment. Same initial...
