I went back to the clinic on Thursday to get results after my op. The clinic was absolutely packed and we didn't get seen for nearly 2 hrs. I had to keep going out for some air it was so hot and I felt like passing out. The first thing my consultant said was "you were right" it was cancer in your left breast!" This is after an MRI and a vacuum biopsy telling me it wasn't likely to be and me having to really stand my ground whilst I felt like the team were trying to persuade me to leave my left breast and concentrate on the right one which had cancer in it. I knew that if I could wake up from my op with the shape of breasts it would help with my self esteem and my recovery. I stated from the first meeting with the consultant that I wanted bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction at the same time. I was originally 38ff and I knew they wouldn't be making my new breast match the old one at that size! They were even saying leave that breast you could get an infection that may delay chemotherapy.....my thought was I could get an infection in the one you have to operate on! I knew I had cancer in that breast too.............I even told a friend to note that I knew way back in August when this started. Any way now I have to have more surgery because the lymph nodes need to come out that side just in case. I am dreading it.
I have two types of cancer in one breast and four tumours in all ranging from grades 1-3 and only one out of fifteen nodes were positive. That is good news isn't i?. I should really say I had four tumours because they have gone now haven't they? Now I am waiting for the summons to surgery, I really felt I was doing well every one says at least you are still smiling! I am not smiling today because the tears are just a blink away I don't know where they are coming from....... and I know there are people worse off than me. I feel so bad putting my other half through this and my children and my poor mum who wishes it was her not me. All my friends and family have been so lovely that I feel I have to remain upbeat ans strong to protect them.
I still feel the worse is yet to come with the chemotherapy!
