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I have a very sore tongue and throat 3 weeks into radiotherapy. Anyone else going or gone through this?
We are preparing to move and having taken all my medical notes and X-rays with me for almost 11 years it is time to let go….
I've shredded my medical history,
I figured on starting anew,
Don't want to discuss,
That H E R plus,
I have come through the fog to the view....
The future is better a mystery,
Not pickled and labelled like jam,
Pic's of the bits I no longer have,
Seem pointless and sad,
They don't make me glad...
Unbound to the medics,
Discarded the hedics,
It’s boring...
Plets start with the all important good news, I received my PET scan results and "complete metabolic response" no signs of Hodgkin's. So what's happened since last time.
Well went for day 8 and things did not go completely smooth my blood results were back and hemoglobin was 80 on the edge. So they wanted to take more to see if a blood transfusion would be needed. Well cannula went and in and I could tell I was having a moment tried to put the chair back but it was to close to...
Today I happened to see a Specialist nurse that I saw on my first appointment to the Consultant on 23rd October - she said 'hi how are you?' - I said 'fine' - she said 'no you are not' - so I told her how I really was !!!!! - she upped my morphine there and then and told me what to take and when to take it on 'session' days- it was such a relief to talk to her and for her to recognise the fact that I was far from OK shows just what a fantastic caring, understanding, perceptive person she is....
Dignity.
Cancer treatment affords you none. It strips you of it as soon as you begin. I think that actually it probably strips you of it before that even...
Today I have had to cancel travel plans because the 'stargate' (radiotherapy machine) is doing it's job. Therefore the expected side effects are taking place. Think toilets and frequency.
Then there is the actual process of receiving my daily dose. I have mine to my pelvis so therefore I have to strip from the waist down. I am allowed...
Day 7 was 'orrible - VERY painful - only because of 'Betty' (my tumour) is in my buttock and laying on my back is excruciatingly 'orrible - I am going to have to ask at Clinic on Thursday if they would remind me why I am having radio - surgery - then more radio - yesterday I just wanted it OUT - woke up at 4am dreading todays session!!!!
Today was not as bad - still not good but tolerable - JUST!!!! -will also ask at Clinic about upping the morphine dose - maybe that would help.
...I have not blogged here for 6 weeks or so, the longest silence since I started my on-line scribblings. Mostly, it is because I have not known what to say for myself since I learned that the treatment appeared to have worked. I suppose that, since then, I have been experiencing a mixture of dumbfoundedness, huge relief, worries about recurrence and a sort of post-traumatic numbness. A bit like a rabbit who was caught in the headlights but was lucky enough to have the car pass over him, bowling him...
and it is quiet...
The children are in bed and so am I, in fact I have been in bed since around 4 pm after I fetched older master T home from school. It rained this afternoon, the kind of heavy rain that is somehow comforting when you are indoors listening to it. It has always been one of my favourite things, listening and watching heavy rain while I am cosy indoors.
Last week was full on. My tutorial in Sheffield went well up until the point I began bleeding from my bladder and missed the train...
Day 1 w.as 'orrible !!!!! because of the time it took to position me and having to lay on my back!!!!! - ..bearing in mind my tumour is in my gluteous maximus - the nurse advised me to take painkillers before the next session. Anyway on Day 2 I said how bad I had felt - and it was arranged for a Doctor to come down to chat with me - he prescribed liquid morphine - so I reckon I will be OK now . Sessions 2 and 3 were fine.
Day8 of cycle 4 remaining and last cycle it was a killer could not move for 2 days and only felt 90% normal at the start of cycle 4. Feeling the impacts now getting tired more frequently, if spend time with people 2 hours and I am gone. Also due to lack of seeing people my throat dies from all the talking. Weird, but normal things...
so Pet scan booked for 17th and I get to start cycle 5 on 18th without results meaning I can crack on all going well, and aim for completion this side of Christmas....
