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Four days have passed and it doesn't doesn't feel real that my dad is no longer here. The tears have flowed (alot), but in the back of my mind I still can't quite grasp that he's gone. This feels a strange emotion considering I sat in the hospice room with dad a few minutes after he passed. I didn't want to leave him, because it felt like I'd be leaving him forever. The hospice staff were brilliant, the support they gave to my mum and I was perfect - caring, compassionate, thoughtful...
Well....I done it now.....I have ask to be in the Avast-m study.......will have more scans, bloods, urine....and all things horrid. Not sure which I will be given, the drug or not (that is the question).
So will try to let all and sundry know what happens next.....
Hi Guys, I hope you are all doing as well as possible.
So today it is 8 weeks since i lost my dad............how do i feel?
Well this week i have actually felt much better, I have done lots with the kids and am now really looking forward to them going back to school on Wednesday lol.
I have tried to keep myself occupied as much as possible because at certain points in the last few weeks i have been very very close to cracking. I have been reading a book called 'a time to grieve' that was...
Its been a cupple of days since my last blog when i found out my cancer was terminal and being offered a clinicaltrail to prolong and increase my quality of life...i still dont really know how i feel,ive taken care of most of the practical issues...i.e thinking about the future, talking to my daughters dad whom i am no longer with and now what? ive got nothing left to do for now....and i think i think about it more when i yhave nothing to occupy my mind....i have has a long telephone conversation...
Had a lovely nurse ring me yesterday to say my chemo has been brought forward to this Tuesday 7th so the waiting has been reduced thankfully!
Now as the sun is shining im off for a cycle
laters Pete.
I'm pleased to say that mum seems to be doing well this week.
The good news is: I have only five radiotherapy sessions left to go with this phase of the treatment. The bad news is: it ain't half sore.
Anyway, it's been a busy time since I last posted (yes, I know, meant to be taking it easy so shouldn't be busy). As I was feeling OK towards the end of last week we decided to take the opportunity presented by the three day holiday weekend to go away for a night. I rested in the car, and lounged around on sofas but in truth it probably wasn't a brilliant...
thats how i feel, LOST.......i spoke to my mum, every day..we loved to moan!!! i miss that so much. i can see her now, sitting in my gardan, laughing and joking,, I WANT THAT BACK , RIGHT NOW...PLEASE......WHY WHY WHY . I THOUGHT ,you would always be here ,right here....but no, you really have gone. not in my heart, never ever but in every other sence....i hate it when the sun shines. i hate it when it rains, i hate it when the day brakes,,and my pain starts all over again...........missing you....
After losing my Valarie, my world has completely fallen apart. As I gingerly attempted to reintegrate my new, raw reality with the life I used to know, I often find it jarring. Friendships that used to just work feel awkward. Sometimes words that are meant to comfort feel like sandpaper to my soul, and surprisingly, people I barely used to know became life-long friends.
My loss has made me an outsider to many. While friends and family want to support me, they didn’t know how. How do you help...
