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The whole world looks better and brighter today. First thing this morning, I crept up to the bathroom without advertising my plans to anyone, and washed my hair - I felt like a circus contortionist, and the whole act was as energetic as a full cardio vascular workout, but I managed it, including conditioner and hairdryer too, and somehow life just feels a whole load more manageable when your hair isn't sticking to your head. Despite getting told off by my Dad when I owned up, I was so ...
It really hasn't been a fabulously great day today. I knew I wouldn't feel brilliant for a few days following surgery, but I never expected to feel so ill. I feel dizzy, faint, detatched, fuzzy-headed and my ability to talk and follow conversations has just evaporated, which is probably a delightful bonus for my family and friends. I'm never ever lost for words, and usually have an opinion on everything, but joined up speaking is beyond me at the moment. If I'm not having fun talking, I usually...
It is so lovely to be back home in my new, bright red bedroom. Yesterday was not one of my favourite days ever, for a start, getting up at 5.30am really isn't something I'm good at, and then getting to the hospital for 7.30am, already shattered, starving and sleep deprived , for a really hectic morning schedule.
The staff at the hospital were universally really lovely, helpful and supportive, making both my wonderful man and I incredibly welcome and absolutely nothing was too much...
5 weeks ago, I learnt that I had breast cancer. I have done it really well, allowing two completely unrelated, entirely different cancers, one on each side. Horrible, harrowing devastating news, and yet the past five weeks have also brought so many positives. My friends, more than I knew I had, have been fabulously supportive, and their love and concern have carried me miles and kept my spirits higher than high. My family, always a solid rock in the background, have just risen to the challenge...
Day 1 was not as i expected, did i think something would fall off, turn blue or run screaming down the corridor with its hair on fire? Yes I did actually. It was okay, he is okay, everything is okay.
Hummm..
My Husband has 3 main modes - Standard - kind, generous, charitable, loving, strong etc etc.
Angry - vengeful, spiteful, raging, savage and "the happy 5 year old". I was the happy 5 year old that I took to Chemo this week.
He appeared at the frontroom door with two laptop...
Yesterday I had my baseline CT scan and all the medical assessments to ensure I'm fit enough for the trial (ABC03) and all was well... sooooo....
Friday I start Chemo, its good to know that at last I will begin to fight this booooger... yet its scary too.. a tiny bit of me still says "Am I doing the right thing?" yet I know deep down I have to do this, take every chance possible and stay as possitive as I can under the circumstances... I am a stubborn lady, I wont give in without a fight Mr...
After nearly 8 months which involved
-two liver enlargement procedures,
-one new tumour appearing,
-that one new tumour being rfa'd
-being told by another Doc (who was not my Dad's main doc) that chances of a resection were practically zero (after all the above) and to possibly consider palliative care...erm, what did you say? (angry face)
-being told time and again that his liver does not have enough volume/function for a resection.
Dad finally has his resection on the 9th August,...
Here I am, sat here on my bed in my little bedroom alone, apart from Jake my dog, dunking Rich Tea biscuits into coffee! WHAT?! I know, I know! Sacrilege, a faux pas! I will be cast out of society tea drinking circles! This is what it has come to; the water in this town is so appalling I can no longer drink tea; it doesn’t taste like tea anymore. What could I do? The biscuits were about to go soggy with age, having been abandoned in the cupboard. I had to dunk them in something. I apologise if I...
I hold my breath for '30
Hands clenched up under chest
Our daily trips, the beams, the mask
And little space to rest
I dare not say ‘why us’ once more
Humbled - i've seen - i've heard
But stump, bemused – I question
How life got so absurd
were our dreams not said out loud enough
Did no one care to hear
I dare not say ‘why us’ once more
Lest a Merlin doth appear
Because why us? Why u, why him, why her
Tis not the way we planned
But thru the storm...
I am not in a very funny mood t the moment or maybe I am in a funny mood but not a humourous one. Last week my old mate Ron Wade died from lung cancer. He wa 80 last year and when he was diagnosed had five shots of radiotherapy and then decided to call it a day. He was a very keen team quiz member at the club but was probably better known for his jokes and anecdotes after the quiz that had everyone in stitches. His jokes were by and large corny, some not politically correct but his manner of delivery...
