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So here i am, just fresh from the shower. I used to love that fresh feeling, i also used to love soaking in a fragrant bath with a cuppa and a good book. I didnt hate mirrors either.
now I just cry and cry and... well you get the idea.... I chose a mastectomy. it made and still makes sense. not that theres much internal debate time - from diagnosis to op was 3 weeks! the word cancer motivated me to say 'get it gone' with much conviction!
6 weeks after that i had a 'sentinal node clearance...
Two landmarks
Both massive
Both dealt with in 48hours.
My littlest turned two last week, 4 days after her fathers funeral...It took me three hours to write the card and it involved numerous text messages late at night to get some guidence. Ultimately it was from Mummy and Daddy. During my card dilema my teen put together the toys and teen and middle child wrapped all her pressies.
During the day, we had some tears and a great many shared memories, keeping the get together small helped, I wasn...
Yesterday I went for a PET scan. What I actually got was a five-hour tour of the Westcountry.
I'm rapidly finding that stress about my actual illness is pushed up by the complications of procedure and infrastructure. Following the lymph node results, I was scheduled yesterday afternoon for a PET scan at the mobile unit parked outside Taunton hospital. It needs a six-hour fast, so I started the day with an early breakfast and packing various stuff (water, food for after, warm pullover, etc).
Well as the title says!
I am back to work again in a week, after having 8 weeks off! this will be hard going! as mcuh as I am looking forward to going back to work, I will miss my babies, my middle baby will be starting school for the first time, i can only drop her off on the first tuesday, but I wont be able to pick her up which makes me a bit sad in fact very sad :(
This is where the reality hits home again, mum was supposed to have Sophie for us, something she was looking forward too, however...
So here I am, quite a way through my war with cancer, admitting that its not a breeze.
Everyone around me says how well I am doing, how amazing i am.... really? When i do or think anything related to 'my condition' i cry buckets!!! This upsets my hubby so I do it in private mostly.
when I shower I weep for my lost breast, when my arm aches I get angry that cancer stole my lymph nodes! and then last week, feeling so ill and in so much pain after my change in chemo regime, God and I had a...
Beach and sky - a day on the Jurassic Coast helped
If I've given the impression from the first couple of matter-of-fact posts that I'm pretty laid-back about the situation: I'm not. The past few weeks have been - to use a cliché - an emotional roller-coaster.
At the first tentative diagnosis after the CT scan, both Irene and I cried. Later, it more or less crystallized into a situation of Irene crying several times a day, and my being poisonously irritable, though at first I didn...
It's been a year since my first diagnosis of rectal cancer. It's been 20 months since I first suspected I had cancer and went to my GP with those first signs of very small spots of blood in toilet and a constant stomach ache. The GP dismissed my symptoms and said I had piles and injected me. Went back several more times to surgery with symptoms getting more severe and GP becoming more patronising and dismissive. The last straw was GP telling me I was obsessed, I was so upset and angry that...
