Day one blog

Less than one minute read time.

FormerMember

28 Aug 2012

So here I am, quite a way through my war with cancer, admitting that its not a breeze.

Everyone around me says how well I am doing, how amazing i am.... really? When i do or think anything related to 'my condition' i cry buckets!!! This upsets my hubby so I do it in private mostly.

when I shower I weep for my lost breast, when my arm aches I get angry that cancer stole my lymph nodes! and then last week, feeling so ill and in so much pain after my change in chemo regime, God and I had a full and frank discussion about the pros and cons of going home to him NOW!!

now feeling better I am glad he didnt take me up on my desperate offer - I have too much to live for, but I have to admit I am dreading the next chemo....

anyway I havent been out of the house for 9 days and as the sun is shining I am going to the garden centre for coffee and prettiness, complete with heavy prothesis but cancer - youre not invited!

FormerMember over 12 years ago

Hello Kazzle,

I do hope that you made that trip to the garden centre and enjoyed it, I always find them nice calming places to go to whenever things seem gloomy. The water garden part is my favourite as the fountains splash gently and everything is just so serene .......

So keep on battling and win this war !

Joycee xxx
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FormerMember over 12 years ago

Ah the garden centre. Another world, always bright even on a wet cold day. Hope you have fun and come away with lots of ideas. Start planning now for next years colours. All the best ...Fran
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FormerMember over 12 years ago

Actually by the time i was dressed didnt have the energy to go that far but did go to local cafe and bumped into my son and his new wife so that was wonderful.

Joycee - thanks for the encouragement. it is a war but its one i intend to win which reminds me, and makes me smile, a very good friend who i text all my angst to once called me her 'one breasted bald warrior' which made me laugh so much on a bad day. we are warriors against an unwelcome, uninvited evil but we are together!!

Fran - yes next year is now high on my list of dreams :)
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