So I can now tick off the anger on the grief checklist all of a sudden I have this sudden urge to shout at people to tell them its not fair that I can't come home and sit with my husband and talk about the day, complain about the weather, sit with my freezing cold feet next to my own personal radiator.
Maybe I should just snap out of it as I can't change the fact he is not here by being angry and annoyed but the…
Well third week back at work and fast approaching 2months since the death of my beloved husband. I still struggle to sleep i did think going back to work would make me tired, it has achieved that but as soon as my eyes begin to close my mind and body jumps to alert and races through like a whirlwind. I have managed though to get upstairs, after so many months of sleeping downstairs as my darling husband couldn't make…
Well I have been off work since end of October 2010 cared for my husband and lost him at the end of July. It seems to have been an epic journey full of emotions and now I am struggling to piece back my life slowly. Todays step was huge walking through the doors for the first day of a new term. There was awkward silence followed by hugs followed by tears followed by meetings followed by more tears. However I did manage…
Art work ~ spent the day working on art pieces something I have not done for years, it was a calm day collecting my thoughts in some rather expressive pieces. I had forgotten how relaxing it can be to put your thoughts on paper without the need to say to people this is this because.The guilt crept in a few hours later though as I had pushed aside my grief and expressed myself no holes barred and escaped into my own private…
Just had a fantastic phone call from a friend from work, the thought of going back to work has been playing on my mind and with the new term starting next week I am dreading walking through the doors. I know that everyone will be supportive and concerned, but it is this concern that worries me, I will find the sympathy and people's fear of saying the wring thing a struggle. I am still me all be it on my own, I still want…
