Loneliness is something we see members of the Community talk about throughout the year in our Community forums. Feelings of loneliness are often experienced when you have cancer as you may not have told anyone about your diagnosis or told them how you are coping.
This time of year can be difficult for many people for lots of reasons and not alone if you’re struggling. Hopefully, this blog will provide some comfort as we’re highlighting conversations from our forums and including support information.
“Christmas can be an awful time of year - not just for those of us who have undergone/ getting on with cancer treatments - yet also anyone that feels lonely/ suffering mental problems, etc. It's a very difficult time of year!”
Community member, Bowel (colon and rectal) cancer forum
“It’s a standing joke within my family about how much I love Christmas, I am a Christmas film personified. However, this year, all it brings me is sadness.”
Community member, Carer’s only forum
Feeling lonely this Christmas or during celebrations?
The holidays can often be a lonely time for those affected by and living with cancer. There are many reasons why you may feel more alone during the festive season after losing a loved one or being apart from family members if you’re in the hospital.
You may be in hospital having treatment or unable to afford to visit loved ones if you are not working or have been impacted by the cost of living rises. If the cost of living rises have affected you, there is support information on the Macmillan website.
The side effects of cancer treatment may leave you feeling tired, effected your mood, or have changes to your eating habits meaning joining in the celebrations, dinners, and family gatherings isn’t the same. Last year we published our ‘mealtimes during the festive season’ blog including some suggestions from Community members for how you can still enjoy festive favorites if you're coping with side effects of cancer.
You’re not alone in what you are going through, and the Online Community is here to support you. Togetherness can help combat loneliness which is why the Community can be a comforting source of support and can be accessed 24/7. Every day members support each other by sharing personal experiences and being a virtual friend.
“I have found this group a massive support. Being able to vent to people who truly understand and not be judged makes you feel so much better.”
Community member, Carers only forum
“You are allowed to feel negative at times, & this is the best place to air your feelings!”
Community member, Bowel (colon and rectal) cancer forum
“The world seems a much less lonely place for me tonight, knowing there are kind people out there who understands.”
Community member, Head and neck cancer forum
“You have all been of immense support to me this past year and I am sending hugs to you with my grateful thanks for being there for me.”
Community member, Breast cancer forum
Coping with loneliness and bereavement at Christmas
Celebrating milestones and holidays after a bereavement can cause you to feel lonely. The idea of making new memories without them can be difficult to cope with. Looking back at memories you shared can make you miss a loved one even more as they are no longer here to take part in your family traditions.
“I am just heart broken, Christmas was our favourite time of year and now I face spending it by myself as my brothers are married and have plans. I am generally afraid of the next few weeks and how lonely it is going to be over Christmas. All the things to come, all the things she has missed out on.”
Community member, Bereaved family and friends forum
“I can’t watch the TV I can’t write cards how can I just write my name it’ll so hurt I won’t be putting cards up or any decorations so dreading it just feel like hibernating”
Community member, Bereaved spouses and partners forum
"The happiness and joy it’s meant to bring and I’m simply dreading it!”
Community member, Bereaved spouses and partners forum
The discussions in our Bereavement forums may offer words of comfort at Christmas for bereaved family and friends. Join and post in our Bereaved spouses and partners forum and our Bereaved family and friends forum if you’re needing some additional support. It can be helpful to connect with those who have also lost a loved one to cancer.
If you need a listening ear and some emotional support, the Macmillan Support Line is open from 8am to 8pm every day. To get in touch call 0808 808 00 00 (for free) when in the UK and +44 207 091 2230 when overseas. (Please note that calls to these numbers are not free when made from outside the UK.)
“Please do reach out to someone wherever you are and ofcourse there is the helpline here which is good too.”
Community member, Bowel (colon and rectal) cancer forum
“It can be lonely, there is support out there from people such as Macmillan.”
Community member, Hodgkin Lymphoma forum
Our recent 'where can I get support over the festive season?' blog has some additional information should you need specialist support. It features contact information for other support services such as Cruse.
Cruse is a specialist bereavement charity that supports those who are grieving. You can call 0808 808 1677 to speak to someone during the Christmas opening times.
“I’ve been more emotional since my mum died and I’m emotional anyway. I rang Cruse and they were helpful. Talking does help.”
Community member, Emotional support forum
Finding your own way of adapting and changing traditions may bring you comfort. This Christmas may be the first one you have spent alone so it’s important that you reach out for some support when you need it and don’t pressure yourself to do anything you don’t feel comfortable doing.
“We’ve already decided between us all, with the exception of my young children, we’re not really “doing” Christmas this year. All we want is to spend time together and maybe a nice dinner with immediate family.”
Community member, Bereaved family and friends forum
“I’m on my own now, I have a best friend and a kind neighbor who have both asked me over for Christmas Day but I want to be alone so I can think of him. I’m really struggling, and this time of year is making it worse. Hugs to everyone in this horrible situation of 1st Christmas without our loved one.”
Community member, Bereaved spouses and partners forum
Don’t be alone at Christmas, join the discussion groups on the site and connect with others who are also feeling lonely. Don't forget there is our Winter picture festival in our Express yourself forum if you would like to take part or react to the pictures other members have submitted.
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