Introducing myself

Hi  and welcome to the online community

It's great that you want to share your story and offer help to other men who are dealing with testicular cancer. With this in mind I wondered if you'd considered being a Community Champion for Macmillan in the testicular cancer group?

If this is something that you might be interested in, clicking here will give you more information including how to volunteer. However, I completely understand if you feel that this is not something that you would want to do at the moment.

Wishing you all the best

x

Wow yes of course - I'd love to do that to help out. I will make sure that I volunteer.

Thank you for the information x

Hi Paul,

What an inspiration you are! You are just the sort of person I’m looking for. This is my third attempt at writing to you as I keep losing them! Anyway, my partner (28) is about to undergo loosing both testicles. He had radiotherapy but it hasn’t worked so is having the full works now. He still hasn’t told me the full story, I think it’s way more advanced than previously thought, he originally told me stage 1 because he didn’t want me knowing how bad it was. He has been very secretive about it all which I can understand but is pushing both me and his mum away. I can only imagine what he’s going through. You have been through it so it would be great to get some advice. He just keeps saying he wants space so I have left him alone for the weekend, which is incredibly hard. You’re the sort of person he needs to talk to or get advice from, to see that there is a light at the end of this tunnel. Any help would be massively appreciated

H. 

Thanks for this information Paul. Both stories were amazing to read. My husband is currently on surveillance. 

Best of luck x

Good evening H 

Thankyou so much for your message - it sounds like you are having  a tough time of things. I'm sorry I haven't responded sooner but have been busy with work etc. 

Wow. It certainly sounds like you and your partner in particular are going through the mill at the minute. I can only relate to what he's going through and it's a very dark place when you first get that news.

It sounds a bit of a cliché but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Initially the thought of a full orchidectomy is too much to bear. I don't mind sharing I was suicidal and had some very bleak thoughts in those first few diagnosis days. 

I feel as men we are almost drilled in the masculinity of 'balls' from an early age. For instance someone who's brave or takes a risk is classed as having 'big balls', 'it takes some balls to do that...' etc or we all mock Hitler in our youths when we first hear 'colonel bogie' in the playground and whistle along merrily (or at least we did in the early 90s when I was at school) mock someone with a high voice as 'his balls haven't dropped' etc etc. It's all engraved into our minds as we approach adulthood. 

I'm more than happy to talk things through with your husband - whether that be on here or if he private messages me. Just try and reassure him that all his darkest fears at this stage aren't half as dark in reality. 

I was in that much pain by the time my surgery came round it was almost a relief. I couldn't walk as the pain was that severe and I was scared to death. 

I too had doubts about my masculinity, how I'd look/feel but if I'm honest my post surgery years have been the best of my life. I've had the best experiences, been to the best places, am fitter then ever and never take anything for granted. I got married 2 years ago and am now in the process of looking at buying a house. 

It's easy for me to say it all now though, that I understand. I only wish that I could have had someone tell me all this when I was first diagnosed in 2013.

Speak soon

Paul