Talking about Sex and Cancer: "All good sex starts with a conversation"

Please do use this discussion thread if you want a place to talk about how cancer has impacted your personal relationships. You are also welcome to start to new discussion in the forum.

Thank you Megan- Online Community Team 

A cracking video and lots of great information. Thank you for posting this link.

Kind Regards - Brian.

I found that even watching something like phim hentai together helped open up a relaxed way to talk about things with my partner. It took the pressure off, got us both laughing, and then we could ease into talking about what we both enjoyed or missed. I never thought it'd help, but it broke the ice in a way that felt natural instead of awkward.

Thank you for pointing me to this. My husband (69) had early-stage prostate cancer treated last year, involving six months on bicalutamide and a HIFU treatment in November, which went well. He is now being monitored by PSA tests and annual scans. Unsurprisingly, all this has affected our emotional and intimate life and I don't know how to approach the subject positively with him, as the last thing I want to do is put pressure on him. But the loss of all sexual activity is sad for me at 63, as it was a small but valued part of our 39-year marriage. I feel guilty even thinking about this, as I should just be grateful he is OK (so far), but I can't pretend it's not an issue.

Hi HB63 - be patient, as you are doing so well so far.  You said treatment was only Nov last year.  The hormone therapy may take a few more weeks or months to dissipate , but the 6 months therapy (I’m guessing stopped 3 months after HIFU?) should clear soon.  However, bicalutamide only stops testosterone being received by cancer cells, your husband should still have a good level of testosterone in his system, so his libido may just be adjusting to the post HIFU trauma and worry.  I feel confident that things will normalise in the coming months. Mrs AW and I have been married for 43 years and during my own testosterone deprivation (I had ADT), I found that 5mg tadalafil per day helped me to get erections for blood flow (especially during sleep - very important to prevent atrophy). Once testosterone returned I was good to go - but “visual stimulation” certainly helps if you know what I mean.  If you’ve been married 39 years and “bedroom action” was a valued part of your life, you will know what will rev things up!   AW 

Hello HB63 

You may find reading through some of the posts on this thread may help:

 Sex and cancer - Let's talk 

Best wishes - Brian.

This is very helpful, thank you. We're not sure about ED medications as my poor husband has haemophilia and liver damage from the infected blood scandal.

Thank you.