Hello and good evening

Dearest Tom, I'm very sorry to hear of your diagnosis. I'm currently caring for my uncle with a similar diagnosis. It's bloody horrendous. Sending you lots of love x

Hi Tony

I am so very sorry to hear of your diagnosis. I wanted to reach out as My Dad was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer which had spread to Liver, lung, stomach, and oesophagus  in Mid Feb this year. My Dad was too advanced for any treatment so we knew we did not have long and indeed he passed away 7th March. I wanted to reach out as "part of the family left behind" and to try and alleviate your fears and worries. The first thing I would encourage is be open about everything, protecting feelings does not work as your family will want to help you as much as possible. My Dad did not want fuss and almost hid his pain and symptoms not wanting us to worry, but trust me this made things more difficult. I would also encourage your family to reach out  to online communities and external support groups. Our situation was different in that we knew we did not have long with Dad  so I used a website called "dying matters", which was a great comfort for me. We used all the nursing care available to us as nursing my Dad was emotionally draining for my Mum so encourage your wife to seek help when she needs it. I can say the thought of losing my Dad was horrific and I will miss his terribly, however, we as a family have found strength  we did not know we had and I am sure your family are the same. Finally focus on good days and good moments of the day. Use those times to tell your family all the things you want to say . I take great comfort in the conversations I had with Dad in the last few days and it is a source of strength now so he is always with me

Your main job is to focus your energy on fighting this cruel " bastard" of a disease to get many many more good days.

Take care and always here if want to rant 

Clare x

Thanks for taking the time to post a reply and your kind support 

Hi Clare, thank you so much for taking the time to respond it is much appreciated. I can’t say that I am looking forward to starting the chemo, but it is my best chance of more good days. 

Tony x