Hi in 4 weeks after a hospital admission my mum has gone downhill fast. She hasn’t eaten for 3 weeks only sipping water and the occasional cup of tea. Lost all bowl control and the diarrhoea is horrendous for her. She has lost 2 stone in weight. She knows she is dying and wants to be at home so myself and daughter in law are caring for her but it’s definitely taking its toll. We are lifting her from her to bed to a wheelchair to the toilet. She can’t walk and has had numerous falls trying to. Sometimes she seems quite bright. How bad do I sound when I think you have had enough mum just go to sleep. She has always been my best friend and I love her so much but this is so dam hard
Hi Trying and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
I’m Anne, one of the Community Champions here on the Online Community and, although I'm not a member of this group, I noticed that your post hadn't had any replies yet. Responding to you will 'bump' it back to the top of the discussion list again.
You might also want to post this in the carers only group, which I can see you've joined, as you'll then connect directly with others who are caring for someone with cancer and will appreciate what you're going through.
Sending virtual ((hugs))
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
Hi Trying
My name is Dylan and I’m part of the Online Community team here at Macmillan.
I’m so sorry to read how quickly your mum’s health has deteriorated over the last few weeks. It sounds like you and your daughter-in-law have been doing a huge amount to support and care for her at home.
I also wanted to say that what you shared about feeling like “you have had enough mum just go to sleep” will be something many carers can relate to, especially when watching someone they love struggle so much. It’s clear from your post how much you love your mum and how difficult this has been for you.
How have things been going the last few days?
As latchbrook mentioned, you may also find it helpful to post in the Carers only forum. There is also the Supporting someone with incurable cancer forum, which may feel relevant to your situation.
You’re also very welcome to contact the Macmillan Support line if you’d like to talk things through with someone. You can call the Support Line for free (in the UK) on 0808 808 00 00, 8 am to 8 pm, seven days a week.
There is also information on the main Macmillan website to help you with the practical, emotional and financial impacts of supporting someone with cancer.
I hope you can get the support you need while you support your mum.
Best wishes,
Dylan
Macmillan's Online Community Team
