Recent diagnosis

Hello glassandcrafts,

Sorry to hear your news but welcome.  It'll still be sinking in at the moment and I expect you are at the stage of a whirlwind of emotions. 

I hope you get the date for your op soon as this will help give you a focus. The sooner they've dealt with it the better. I remember it being such a relief. Recovering from surgery was something I could do... everything else felt out if my hands. It will also be a focus for your family as they can find practical ways to help you. 

There's no right way to feel and everyone will need time to adjust. Feel free to chat. It's a good place to vent.

All the best 

Fishy  xx

Thanks Fishy.

im not sure what’s ‘normal’ to feel. I feel constantly sick, can’t eat, wake up with anxiety and just want to sleep. It’s hard to do anything right now. I was full time Nannie to my grandkids but that’s stopped dead as I don’t have the energy. Family are amazing but I worry about them constantly. Xxx

Hi,I understand exactly how you are feeling.  I too was diagnosed in November and went through all the emotions. I was also carer to my 15 month granddaughter.  So far, have had 3 chemo's which has been surprisingly OK.  The treatment is going well.  My worst problem is that my mind works overtime, which is my worst enemy!  Try not to worry about your family, I'm sure they will be amazingly strong for you, as mine are to me. Best wishes, Jan. x.

Thanks for this Jan. I’ve still to have any treatment so the waiting is really hard. It seems they still aren’t sure exactly what’s wrong. The worst thing at the moment is constant diarrhoea and I’ve lost so much weight that I don’t have any energy. Just want something tangible to happen so I know exactly what we’re dealing with. Best wishes to you. Deb.xx

Hi Deb. I'm sorry to hear that you are playing the waiting game.  I truly hope you get results soon and then you know where you stand and things can move forward.  Hopefully you can get the diarrhoea  sorted and then gain weight again, which I know is easier said then done.  Best wishes and keep me up-dated.  Jan. x. 

So update. Went to UCH for blood tests. Now been given a date for biopsy (next Friday) plus have to go for a kidney blood test on Thursday. All very confusing as I haven’t had any explanation from a medic yet. Called my lovely consultant at local hospital who explained things so looks like they may do chemo before surgery now if my kidneys are up to it. 

I'm having chemo first.  Have had three courses so far. Had a CT scan on Thursday, to decide if I have surgery now or at the end (another three courses to go) or if at all.  I am at Salisbury Hospital (which I cannot praise enough) and they prefer to blitz with chemo and then go from there. By the way, the chemo has not been to bad, just a bit of aching etc.  I'm on taxol/carbo which is definitely knocking it on the head.  And they do check with blood tests that everything is working normally before they start chemo, so don't worry about that.  Hope you feel a bit better now.  an. x.

Really appreciate your replies. I’ve been feeling really exhausted and just want to sleep. Still can’t eat so worrying constantly about getting weaker as I still have diarrhoea even though I got tablets for it. Feel guilty that I don’t want to see anyone either. I’m hoping this is all normal reaction but can’t help feeling that my body is falling apart. Thanks for being there. Deb.xx

I still don't want to talk or see anyone, apart from close family.  I keep in touch by email, which works well.  Everyone understands.  I have been out to my daughters baby shower and met with her friends, which was much easier than I expected.  But is is totally normal to feel like this.  The GP has put me on tablets for depression/anxiety for the course of my treatment, which have worked wonders and has helped me put things in perspective.  Eating was my problem, I had to force myself with small amounts.  But now I, much better and am putting weight on again and strength and energy and feel much more positive.  You will get better.  Jan. x.