afternoon all, so after chemo/radiotherapy finished 29th november, and the nurse saying just use the next 5 weeks to recover, enjoy xmas, mmm, you wont hear from us until new year , so then appointment comes in for 30th dec,with the surgeon, then letter from radiotherapist oncologist discharging me, dated 1st dec, clearly shows will be requesting ct pet scan within in 4 weeks ready for surgeon appointment.
so blind panic set in, sems 30th will be another big day, one way or the other, has treatment helped, 4 chemo, 25 radiotherapy sessions, assuming pet scan will show what the little sh~ite has been up to. now i thought i had these big milestone appointments all under control, until friday 6th went back to wycombe breast cancer department, where it all started a year ago with a masectomy, was fine in the morning, even got my hair blow dryed, put on a dress, just to walk back in there feeling some part female, no just lost it literally as we set off. so upsetting walking in, then walking out, pretty much discharged. doctor did say for today you are clear of breast cancer, but you must be daily vigilant with what has now happened.
did tell hubs i didnt know how friday would make me feel, but it wasnt going to be high five type of feeling, so not sure why it came as a shock. one day off from crying behind those blimming blue masks would be nice thank you father crimbo .
how the hell do i deal with what i am going to hear on 30th, and how do i cope with each day until then, on top of that husbands hernia op is now booked for 20th dec, as he had put it off whilst all my treatment was going ahead. trying to take deep breaths, glass half full, etc, but friday going back in there just took the living breath out of me.
thank you for listening, still feel so tired and rough after just one week of the treatment finishing, which they did say would happen for more than 2 weeks, dont know my ass from my elbow at the moment. maybe its the whole xmas thing, and its only us 2 which maybe is making it all so much more intense.
jules x
Yes they will both be home for Christmas 
and they're called Sam and Ben x
