afternoon all, so after chemo/radiotherapy finished 29th november, and the nurse saying just use the next 5 weeks to recover, enjoy xmas, mmm, you wont hear from us until new year , so then appointment comes in for 30th dec,with the surgeon, then letter from radiotherapist oncologist discharging me, dated 1st dec, clearly shows will be requesting ct pet scan within in 4 weeks ready for surgeon appointment.
so blind panic set in, sems 30th will be another big day, one way or the other, has treatment helped, 4 chemo, 25 radiotherapy sessions, assuming pet scan will show what the little sh~ite has been up to. now i thought i had these big milestone appointments all under control, until friday 6th went back to wycombe breast cancer department, where it all started a year ago with a masectomy, was fine in the morning, even got my hair blow dryed, put on a dress, just to walk back in there feeling some part female, no just lost it literally as we set off. so upsetting walking in, then walking out, pretty much discharged. doctor did say for today you are clear of breast cancer, but you must be daily vigilant with what has now happened.
did tell hubs i didnt know how friday would make me feel, but it wasnt going to be high five type of feeling, so not sure why it came as a shock. one day off from crying behind those blimming blue masks would be nice thank you father crimbo .
how the hell do i deal with what i am going to hear on 30th, and how do i cope with each day until then, on top of that husbands hernia op is now booked for 20th dec, as he had put it off whilst all my treatment was going ahead. trying to take deep breaths, glass half full, etc, but friday going back in there just took the living breath out of me.
thank you for listening, still feel so tired and rough after just one week of the treatment finishing, which they did say would happen for more than 2 weeks, dont know my ass from my elbow at the moment. maybe its the whole xmas thing, and its only us 2 which maybe is making it all so much more intense.
jules x
thank you all as always, seeing the counsellor that helped with the fall out from the masectomy tommorow who is aware since our last appointment of this new arrival!!. does seem that if the c word isnt talked about at home, hubs seems calmer so i just need to get my head around that one, and whats best for me to get through this. think the fact i still feel so rubbish now treatment has finished, which i didnt get a lot of after the breast chemo/radiotherapy has taken the wind out of my sails, im usually mrs organiser, which i have done nowt!!. least the food pump is keeping the calories going in. sending hugs for last few weeks of 2024. and what ever they are going to bring xx
jules
Hugs!
You know,I am always slightly worried about what I say on here.I know it's for people and their families dealing with CANCER - but, it's always nice to chat about other things going on in your lives,like what you have as hobbies etc.
I am sure other people would agree with me on that one.
Just sorting out Christmas cards - only to family and close friends. I used to send to people in the village,but right now, I really don't want to do that.I have my reasons.
Anyway, you take care and be careful.
fatz x
