I never imagined I’d be posting in this forum as I’ve fundraiser for Macmillan due to my parents both having cancer (dad sadly passed away in April )
Ive been so busy looking after dad I stupidly missed my screening mammogram in October and then have been struggling to come to terms with dad’s death . To top it all I’ve had done cardiac issues and was diagnosed with left ventricular hypertropy and an ascending aortic aneurysm in May
At the beginning if July I noticed my left breast was tender and out it down to changing my hrt , but a couple of days later the tenderness got worse and when I looked in the mirror I could see my breast was bigger and firmer looking . I saw the gp same day who said she thought she could feel a lump too and said she thought it as breast cancer .
I had my referral appointment 16 days later on 23rd July and had two mammograms , one a close up of my nipple area then through to the consultant radiographer for ultrasound .
She said she couldn’t see a lump but I had two areas of calcifications which were highly suspicious and that my axillary node was swollen . I had three biopsies and in to see the breast surgeon . The room was full including the breast nurse so I knew it wasn’t good news . She said straight away it was cancer and I was a wreck , crying like a baby.
I spent an hour with the breast nurse who was lovely and reassuring and went home to wait my results .
my appointment came through for 12th August which is 3 weeks from biopsy date so the waiting has been torture . My youngest daughter is only 14 and I’m dreading telling her.
I go from feeling optimistic to feeling there is no hope .
Im terrified at the thought of chemo etc due to my heart.
The not knowing how bad it is or what treatment I’ll get .. is the worst at the moment but the consultant indicated I’m probably looking at mastectomy.
I had so many plans for the next few months and had booked to take my daughter to a concert so mum guilt us already kicking in . I’m worried how she’ll cope going into year 10 .. so much going round in my head .
I always thought I might get cancer with two parents with it .. but bizarrely I never worried about breast cancer , never checked my breasts properly and my mind is in overdrive wondering if it’s spread and it’s two late for me .
Every twinge is freaking me out , I’ve got sore ribs and I’ve convinced myself it’s spread to my bones .. it’s all feeling like a nightmare right now
I hope it’s not a typo 
possibly that will change at some point as results seem to evolve constantly.
the BS wanted me to have my stereotactic biopsy today but the radiographer said it was too risky with blood thinners so I’m back next week , anxious about the delays while waiting for results
