Newly diagnosed

I am with you as we all are in this group. We all feel the same as you have said and we can all do this as much as we think we cannot.

I also lost my Mum and sis not think I would get through wiyhout her but I know even though she is not here in person she is in spirit helping me through, my Dad is also on his own but you will be surprised how much they get their independence back after a short time. You all have to support each other through it all.

I was diagnosed in Nov 2020, had a lumpectomy and sentinel node removal in Dec 2020 and have just started and finished my first chemo session. Once 20 wks of chemo complete I will have radiotherapy and hormone therapy.

Tezz you can do this and there is so much support on this forum.

I know this might sound harsh but is your dad capable of looking after himself.  My dad would have let me do everything for him if I had offered but, I had an 18 month old when my mum died so wasn't able to help too much so he learnt to cope for himself.  You will need to try to concentrate on yourself after surgery.  Try to batch cook meals which can be frozen as, after surgery , you won't feel like cooking.  Housework will probably have to slip unless your oldest child will do it!  Are you having a lumpectomy or mastectomy?  I had a mastectomy and was able to do things about a week after surgery, though lifting anything heavy with the hand on your affected side is a no no for about 4 weeks.  You may need to rely on friends for a short while so take any help that is offered.

Thank you just reading your reply makes me realize that I am not alone Xx

Hey yes

Of course he can look after himself but him and I Mum were inseparable so I don't want to plunge him in to single life straight away we will of course start to back off little by little but not yet. You see my Mum has died because of medical negligence and we looked after her at home for the last few days of her life. It was harrowing but Mum wanted to be at home. We had carers in to help but Mum was in so much pain she cried out every time we went anywhere near her it was awful. So because of that I just don't want to make him feel like he's on his own. My oldest will help me for sure but we are all still grieving it's just so hard. 

Hi, I am in a similar situation.  I am 44 and recently diagnosed.  Scheduled for surgery on 2nd March.  I have a 25 year old and 6 year old, both boys.  I found telling people so difficult, haven't said anything to my younger son.  I am just taking 1 stage at a time

Again similar with lumpectomy 4th. I was positive but its the external pressures, especially telling everyone. You have to br selfish but only tempotarily, your Dad will understand. Go and see him socially instead rather than doing jobs. I now tell people its a womens operation which stops people prying if your not feeling strong telling people!!