Hello!

u CeeCee88 welcome to the forum and little wonder that you are scared and you are not alone in experiencing that especially at this point in time when things are still not clear about the way ahead for you. Its ok to feel the way that you do so don't beat yourself up too much about it, things will improve but it will take you time and you will get there when you are ready.

Have they said what type of Cancer it is and what the plan is for you or is that what you are waiting on yet? Some folks say that when they have this they at least know what is coming and without that it is the unknown which scares most if us if we are honest. Remember as well that most Breast Cancers are treatable and whilst it can be a long hard journey it is all doable and we will be with you every step of the way.

The times that you sya are the worst are often the times when it is quiet and that gives our brains time to overrun and to take over our lives and whilst there is not easy answer to any of that it is best to keep busy which with two children those ages that they are I imagine would not be difficult. 

There is also an Awake thread for the night owls amongst us and lots of folks on there if you wanted to pop in and not always talking about Cancer so some fun times if that's of any help.

Sending some huge big hugs your way for now. xx

Hi CeeCee88 I know just how you feel - I was diagnosed 2 weeks ago with breast cancer. They found 2 small lumps in my right breast. I had a mastectomy on the 26th Jan.  So in the space of 4 weeks my life has turned upside down.  I’ve got an appointment with the oncologist on the 12th Feb to find out what further treatment I need. Like you I am terrified of what they are going to say. To make myself feel better I tell myself that I’ve had step one.  The next step will be more treatment to make me better. I’m trying to take one day at a time. That’s all you can do. My heart goes out to you especially with you having young children.  This is a great place to get your feelings on paper with people who know how you are feeling and can sympathise. Sending you a big hug xxxx

Hi CeeCee88, sorry you find yourself here.  I think most of us find the nights and mornings tough.  Mornings were tougher for me because when you're asleep you forget and then you wake up and for a split second you haven't remembered yet and all is fine and normal and then you remember and it's like being told for the first time all over again.

It does get better especially once you know your treatment plan and you feel confident that they are going to remove all the cancer.

Breast cancer is very treatable these days and your doctors will come up with the best treatment plan for you in order to rid you of cancer.  

I had one of my sons home in the beginning and I also hadn't told him or his brother anything until the day before surgery.  I found having him home was a distraction but it was also difficult sometimes.

What stage are you at right now?

I along with many others am also on the awake thread a lot, if you want to talk or need advice it's great thread to join.  Just post a Hello and you will get a very warm welcome.

Here is the link https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_types/chat-breast-cancer/f/breast-cancer-forum/128753/awake/1533764#1533764

Sending you a big virtual hug xx

Hello!

I've just had the same diagnosis. My surgeon won't operate on me until the tumours have been shrunk. I'm sat now waiting for the postman to see if my appointment with the oncologist comes. Should be next week. I don't want to know ANYTHING about what is wrong. I'm so terrified I am feeling sick all the time and my brain seems to have shut down. I've always been a bubbly person and enjoyed life, I'm 

I'm terrified!

Hi ceecee28. I had breast cancer 20 years ago and a couple of times this last four years.  It is so confusing and scary until things get moving and you get into being treated to make you better. My kids were 7 and 4. My 7 year old knew more than I realised as didn’t tell her at beginning but she overheard stuff and sensed things weren’t right. Since then I’ve kept them both informed they are more resilient than we think and can help you a lot by being positive together. I would discuss it with them you can’t hide it it’s better so share it and talk to ease worries and fears. It’s hard  though. Kaye

• Hi cupboard love. It is scary but you can deal with it it just takes time. I think they prefer to shrink tumour with chemo which also gets to any bits that might spread more quickly than if you had surgery then wait to heal and then chemo. Plus your tumour will be smaller so less to take out so that’s best way.  But I know you just want the lump out but in a way they know where it is and can control it. Trust your consultant they know what they are doing and will take care of you. I really feel for you. It’s hard

Thank you Gail xx

Thank you xxxx 

I'm sorry that you are going through this too. Well we will be terrified together! Friends have kept saying ' you are such a positive person' but I don't feel positive at all. I feel exactly the same about not wanting to know about anything!! With love and best wishes xx