hi , 20 + years ago node involvement wasnt a good thing.
However now after extensive research and evolving treatments it's not as bad as it once was. My bc nurse said most breast cancers can end up in the lymph nodes as its a very short distance to travel. I've had lymph node involvement. I've now had all my lymph nodes removed in the left side and no ones told me it's a bad thing. Obviously it would of been better if it hadn't of gone there but it is treatable and with some luck curable.
Look at what the lymph node system does it's a pretty smart part of your body.
If you are feeling anxious about this I would strongly recommend you speak to your team.
A so called friend. She said it will spread and called the lymph nodes, the highway to hell! My breast nurse is very difficult to talk to. She just told me to get anti depressants.
That is not nice of her, it is very difficult and lord only knows how bad it is, I was so bad-tempered thinking my family did not care, I did not realise I was putting through the same hell I was in, I asked my nurse to refer me to St Peters Hospice. They take care of all your fears and worries, both mentally and physically, give them a chance they will help, I am so sorry that you are in this position, and all the words in the world may not help, but I can send you a virtual hug.
I have Breast Cancer which did spread to my lymph nodes, I had 38 removed, I was told I am lucky to be alive, But Alive I am and although it spread to my lymph nodes, I was lucky it had not spread anywhere else. mine was confined to the Breast and yes I too was terrified it would spread to the rest of me, especially when I started to have lumps in my foot I was convinced it was my cancer spread to my bones, but it did not, those lumps were bone spurs because I have very bad arthritis in my hands, feet, knees, hips, and spine.
Please believe me, I have been where you are right now, I can only tell you it will get better, I put on a very brave face especially when I lost my hair, I said what is hair between friends and wore my bald head very proudly, I do feel for you, and will think of you as you progress on your journey.
Hi Charlieandlola what you say about how you used to be so in control and active - this really resonated with me. I watched myself go from being a professional woman, dealing with a lot of people and a lot of responsibility, to someone who now finds it a struggle to get out of bed before 10am and who can only do one thing per day. If I try to do more, I end up in a mess on the sofa for the next two days. I am sure I am not the only one who understand how you are feeling on this score.
As for the comment you had, the lovely counsellor I saw this week said that we act as a mirror to our friends and send them an image they are not always able to deal with. I can’t be the only one to have thought cancer only happens to others and couldn’t happen to me ? We are the living proof that it doesn’t just happen to others !!
I met a person yesterday at the aquagym class I started who I knew 20 years ago. She used to irritate me then - nothing has changed !! She has made the decision to get her cancer care at a top Parisian hospital as of course all the best Drs are there (she said). As one who is being cared for in a local hospital, the implication is that I am having inferior care. When I told her I didn’t need chemo or rads, she told me about someone she knew who had been cared for like me, no chemo or rads and her cancer had of course come back. Nice !! I told her that I didn’t want to know that but too late. She had already said it. And she then proceeded to tell me how she is training to be a patient accompanier (does that word exist ?). Apparently some hospitals can refer you to a fellow patient who can buddy you. The thought of a buddy like her, no thank you !! People say stuff. Stuff they say can impact on us long term. She will no doubt not give a second thought to what she said to me ... My husband pointed out to me that so many people ask him how I am and then proceed to tell him at length all about their aunty, cousin, neighbour, cleaner ... who has had BC - all part of the mirror effect.
The counsellor advised me to have a spring clean among the people I want to spend time with and only keep the ones who do me good. I thought they were very wise words. I don’t know if this will be helpful to you. Hope I am not just making things worse too !!
It seems that we all need a spring clean of people who cannot offer a good word or two, we think we are infallible but we are not, we never think this will happen to us, I had nearly made it to 7 years post-cancer which was benign, with the Dr's words ringing in my ear, If this comes back it will be malignant, I remembered it so well, and now like you , I have BC with Lymph node involvement.
I was not believed by my spiteful vicious mother, who called me a liar, She left all 9 of us as kids when we were all grown with our own families she wanted to come back into our lives, I am sorry you cannot be a part-time mother, I don't talk to her anymore, I don't need that hassle, It gets worse when the older sister you could talk to passes away, now I have nobody to talk to, to share my grief with, or to have a coffee with and remember the good times, and yes it is very hard, who do you turn to when there is nobody around? I found comfort in St Peters hospice, they take care of you in spirit and body, have a pamper day, say a little prayer, you may be surprised. Best wishes to you and all with any cancer, we can survive, we will survive.
