Hello
i am new. I was diagnosed 3 weeks ago. I found out today that I am advised to have a mastectomy. It was not what I was expecting. I am very scared. How do you cope with the fear and the emotional aspects of losing your breast? I would just like to connect with somebody who is maybe a little further down the line.
Thank you
M
Hi
welcome to the community that nobody wants to belong to , but are so pleased to find it . This is the best place to be to get answers from people who have experience the emotions you are now feeling .
Read my profile just click on my name . I had masectomy on
4/7 /19
Firstly take a breath this is the worst time the waiting ...once you have your op and a treatment plan it is so much better .
AT the moment your head will be all over the place and there's not much we can say that will instantly make you feel better .We can't make it go away but we can support you thru it .
We are all different in how we react no right or wrong ..just different
I found it relatively easy to say get rid because I viewed it as getting rid of cancer more than losing breast .
The fear of leaving cancer in body as opposed to losing breast was greater
I did not have reconstruction ..my choice .. very happy with prosthetic.
Ask as many question as you want someone will answer you will be able to connect with many people .Have a browse around threads you will get a lot of info . The Awake thread if you can't sleep usually has someone on wanting to chat ,rant or even a giggle .
Tell a little about yourself on your profile it helps if people know a little about you .
Margaretx
Thank you for your lovely reply Margaret. I appreciate it. X
Nice to meet you and thank you for replying. Let’s keep in touch. X
Hiya im sure your head is all over the place emotions running riot
you can read my profile ( just click on my name) and see my story
i had my mastectomy and reconstruction 4 weeks ago today ( Friday 15/11) I opted for reconstruction straight away as I couldn’t bare the thought of being flat on one side ( my feelings but not everyone’s) with my reconstruction my consultant was able to use my breast skin and implant so didn’t have to go anywhere else for it the skin
like margaret has said my thoughts are I just wanted to get rid of the cancer in my body more then keeping that breast
the beginning of this week has been a turning point I feel just a slight discomfort but as I’ve said we are all different I admit I am a bit of a wimp
We are all different speak to your consultant about your options
youve come to the right place the support is absolutely first class look around the threads
the awake thread is great xx
Hi
i had mastectomy 24/10. Read my story. I’m a big wimp needle and hospital and blood phobic so not a good candidate for all this.
But everyone is right. You feel better after.
I had no recon but it is something I am seriously considering. Got an appointment in jan to discuss.
My consultant thought it better to get rid of cancer and deal with treatment and then sort out cosmetics after. I have to say I agree. My worry with immediate recon was radiotherapy effecting the reconstructed breast. Again these are MY thoughts it is so personal. As it happens I didn’t need radiotherapy but that’s just Sod’s law but in any event I made the right decision for me.
Again, my own thoughts, but I viewed mastectomy as a positive because if they had done lumpectomy then didn’t get clear margins or left some undetected cancer behind I would be so worried. I had 2 lumps which were so far apart. But after mastectomy when breast tissue was removed and examined there were lots of other smaller lumps lurking in the background. So I actually felt reassured that it was good they took the lot.
Yes its shit at the mo, I hate being flat on one side as I’m 36e but ..... that’s fixable soon. I’m healing inside and out and emotionally and psychologically as well as physically. Once I have dealt with all that I can focus on my cosmetics. It’s not easy. I have regular melt downs but this community is my life saver. Seriously you will get so much help.
Everyones cancer and lifestyle is different. Just giving my view of my experience. Get lots and then make YOUR mind up. You will get your head round it soon I promise it just clicks. I did see it as loosing cancer not a breast though.
Hugs
xxxx
Hi Julus, best of luck with your chemo:). Thank you for sharing your experience. I think you’re amazing!
May I ask, but please do not feel obliged to answer! Are you happy with the implant reconstruction? Or is it too early to know?
Thank you so much. Your story sounds very similar to mine. X
Hi
hope you feeling a little bit more settled this morning .
Youll find it's a like being on an emotional rollercoaster but at least there are a lot more passengers with you .
Starting from today what you need to do is try to distract yourself ..sounds lmpossible I know but you can .
I was lucky in one way not an awful lot of time after diagnosis to op . Also choice between lumpectomy and masectomy only made on the Tues op on the Thurs . So not a lot of time to panic .
Having said that I had the most organised kitchens cupboards ever lol also freezer full of precooked meals and home baking ..wardrobe was sorted so button thru items were at front ( easier than over your head ) went shopping so I could feel good about what I was wearing when I came out .
when I left the consultant on the Tuesday I had a goodie bag from macmillans which included a softie ( soft boob) I went straight to shop to buy post surgery bra to use coming out of hospital .
This is how I coped being busy ,busy,busy... but as we keep repeating we all different just try to find something to distract your mind . Plan a really exciting Xmas ...a new year weekend away before op .
Whatever floats your boat .
focus on one day at a time one step at a time ..you can do it you are stronger than you think ..we all are
margaret x
How lovely to receive your message this morning and yes, I do feel a little calmer. My husband was working late yesterday but when he got home we talked and he helped me see that the decision I had come to was the right one. I am having the mastectomy on 8th Jan, without reconstruction. I’ll decide whether to get reconstruction done once I’ve lived with it for a while. I am worried about looking lop sided. I’m a 36c. I almost think it would be better to have a double but the surgeon said no.
swimmng, Christmas shopping and a bit of yoga planned for today. I hope you have a good day and thank you again for your kindness.
x
Whatever cancer throws your way, we’re right there with you.
We’re here to provide physical, financial and emotional support.
© Macmillan Cancer Support 2025 © Macmillan Cancer Support, registered charity in England and Wales (261017), Scotland (SC039907) and the Isle of Man (604). Also operating in Northern Ireland. A company limited by guarantee, registered in England and Wales company number 2400969. Isle of Man company number 4694F. Registered office: 3rd Floor, Bronze Building, The Forge, 105 Sumner Street, London, SE1 9HZ. VAT no: 668265007