New kid on the block - mastectomy fears.

hi FroggyinFrance

I'm always quite surprised how many visitors we get from France, I didn't realise as many people decided to live there.  I'll see if I can tag a few, share experiences of the health system etc. 

Welcome to the online community, sorry you've had to come and find us.

I know that feeling, I wanted to take my left boob on one last beach break.

I really struggled to accept the decision and the team kindly reviewed it again but all came to the same conclusion, a lumpectomy would leave me very uneven and it would be difficult to neaten up. 

They felt the could do a better job of reconstruction and I do get that. 

I had a further scare that I may have had the right one removed too and at that point I made the decision in about 30 seconds.  I'm not dying for the sake of my breasts. 

I took photos of mine and photoshopped what I might look like but then I had to wait an eternity for the actual op and by that time I was so fed up.

Breast cancer is a strange one, it does feel so 'cosmetic' in so many ways, but if you mention aesthetics first you'll get a ticking off, if they mention it first it's fine, well, that's how it is in the UK. 

You need to grieve for your loss, you'll feel shocked and in denial, then angry and sad, then the 'why me' phase, I had plenty of time to process that and I began to feel unwell waiting around for the op. 

I was diagnosed on the 8th May, officially told on the 19th,  and wasn't in theatre until 1st July. 

Will you be having reconstruction ?

Carolyn

xxx

Hi FroggyinFrance,

Welcome I know you don't want to be here but at the moment it's the best place to be .  You are now in a community that understand exactly what you are going thru . You will get all the answers and support you need .

First things first have read of my story on profile I won't repeat it all but Inwas 8 days from diagnosis til masectomy . Same sort of story some dispute about size then news that second area was changing . I was then quite strongly on the side of masectomy.

I know it's hard and your head will be all over the place but let me try to clear it slightly

My experience was that yes I was upset at thought of surgery but more distraught at the thought of cancer in my body . So I wanted rid .

Remember this is me everyone reacts differently. There is no right or wrong way to behave .

Anyway The actually masectomy is far more straight forward than your imagination is telling you .

I rang hubby from recovery room . Most hospitals have a policy of 24/48 hrs stay . You don't say if you having immediate reconstruction .

Would imagine not as that would be massive decision but you can have delayed reconstruction . 

So if just masectomy I along with a lot of others have discomfort more than pain due to  nerve block prior to op . I had dressing on wound and drain in . You are given exercise to do which help with movement 

Supplied with a softie boob so looked ok when leaving hospital. 

It really does get better when your treatment starts because you can start taking control .

At the moment you're trying to cope with the shock of cancer then the change of op plan .

Hey I didn't even have lump than I or surgeon could feel .or be seen on ultra sound . I spend one whole night saying to myself "I have got Cancer " had to do it cos I wasn't using that word ! Any word except cancer, .

Others will be along to support you and share . Have a browse thru the threads and have a read . 

If you can't sleep have a look at the Awake thread usually someone on there Awake .

margaret x

Hi Carolyn, thanks for taking time to reply to me. Reconstruction may be an option further down the line but not immediately. TBH right now, I don't want to know. I prefer to learn to live with my Betty Boob. Who knows how I will feel in the future ? I am just so up and down. At times, really in control and upbeat and "I'm going to smash this !" and then 5 minutes later, a wibbling, snivelling mess. I'm guessing this is normal ?

Hello Margaret, thanks for the tip about the Awake thread as I hadn't found that as yet.

Like you, no lump that I can feel, no symptoms. It feels all a bit like some weird dream and I am going to wake up soon - only I know I am going to wake up with a bit missing !! I feel like a big fuss is being made about me and I am finding it hard to accept that. I don't like the thought of the cancer inside me. I am with you on this one. And your comments have really helped. It is planned for my op to be done as a day patient so I should be in and out within the day. Then a follow up programme at home with a nurse and regular trips back to the hospital to check on me. Drain is planned and I will have to keep it for 4 days. I am having the injection in my back. It is all a bit overwhelming. I got myself into a right state about the biopsy and in the end, it was fine - maybe the op will be like that ?

I threw some perfectly good bras away in a fit of rage

big mistake

take your time

have a good cry

and yeah, just keep asking us

I was going to find some lovely ladies in France for you, wasn't I ... be right back

Carolyn

FroggyinFrance

HI FroggyinFrance

Really sorry you have joined us but glad you did, you will get plenty of support on this site. This is a huge shock for you and will take a while to come to terms with it all. I had Mastectomy in June, had discomfort and felt sore following op, if you get too uncomfortable ask for pain relief. A pillow to rest your arm on is very helpful, are you having any lymph nodes removed? It' s nearly six months for me since op and I still get days when I start thinking about my journey and cannot believe what happened. I did not have reconstruction, it does feel strange on times with only one breast but I remind myself the reasons I had the breast removed, to get rid of beast (cancer) inside me. Take each day as it comes, let us know how you are doing and Good Luck for the operation

Rita.      

I am struggling with my bras at the moment. Don't want to throw them out, but don't want to look at them either. Had a major wobble in M&S last week when I found myself in the bra department !!

Hi FroggyinFrance,

Can I ask where you are you France or Britain ? Only asking because treatment could be different in France .

If you have questions for your team then don't worry ring your BCN and ask . You have already started to view the whole thing differently 

Yes you are losing part of you and it permissible to be upset  but more importantly you are kicking cancer in the a**e . Don't be concerned if drain in longer it needs to be draining certain level before it removed .

I was supplied with a shoulder bag made by macmillan to carry it around . Also a heart shape cushion for underarm you can get both online if you don't get supplied .

To be practical you need to keep yourself distracted until your op .

I cooked extra meals and froze them ready for when I couldn't .

Tips  I found helpful were get button thru night and daywear arms above head will be difficult .

V shape support pillow really useful 

also pillow on masectomy side of bed 

Water wipes to freshen up when in bed .

Magazines rather than books too tired after op .

Drink lots of water etc to help with after op constipation . 

Take your pain meds .

Honestly I found no problem with op but that's me we're all different in how we react and it's all ok however we get thru this  

Make sure you fill out your profile with some details it helps when people answer you 

By the way we're all a bit mad on the Awake thread hence the nickname froot loops  you'll be surprised how much  you may laugh on there ..yes laugh ..but there is a lot of support 

take care 

ps only just got rid of bras no rush 

margaret x

Hi froggyinfrance sorry you had to join but believe me it’ll be the best move you made everyone is so so supportive 

I had a mastectomy just over two weeks ago I was like you scared crying head all over the place 

yes it’s scary but honestly for me two weeks down the line I’m feeling good about it I now know there is no more cancer in me ( I start chemotherapy next week to make sure it doesn’t come back) 

take it one day at a time you’ll be surprised at how each day gets better and better 

i had reconstruction straight away for me I didn’t want to see myself without a boob but we are all different 

mom sure everything will go well for you xx

Hi FroggyinFrance 

Although none of us want to be on this journey we are all aboard the same train just some of us are in different carriages. I dont post on here much but I've read so many peoples posts that have helped me silently along the way. So i had my single mastectomy with reconstruction and sentinal lymph node removal on 28th October I'm 5 weeks post surgery. It wasn't easy. Like you i had ups and downs like only fellow soldiers understand. So for me i felt i needed to give reconstruction a go at the same time taking on board the risks but for me personally i knew i wouldnt put myself thru surgery willingly at a later date so I'd have to live flat or with a prosthetic. After my surgery I felt pretty good and had hardly any pain. The new boob Bob i call it is pretty dam good my surgeon did an amazing job. Its still swollen and numb and doesnt yet feel quite like a part of me. The worst part is the lymph node removal. No one warned me how sore and restricting it would be it feels a little like you've shaved your armpit with a blunt razor and its got a rash thats sore but obviously the sore is on the inside so be warned lol. Please do your exercises and stretches as instructed they will make a massive difference to your arm movement and use. Keep on top of your painkillers. Another thing I've not seen mentioned is wiping your bottom! I'm a slightly larger lady and couldn't reach round or down with my other hand and with a reconstruction i wasn't able to lean forward either so i found on Amazon a bum wiper lol its a plastic arm with a silicone end which i attatched wipes to. It was the best thing ever!! sorry but had to mention it for me it saved a lot of stress and tears. So a massive good luck with your surgery it really isn't that bad and let the emotions out there will be plenty. xx