Hi gang!
I was diagnosed with a grade 3 ductal carcinoma with no lymph activity at the beginning of September. I took part in an immunotherapy trial which shrank it by 6mm. Had my wide local excision on 5th November, with 5 nodes taken for testing which were all clear.
Am currently waiting for the results of an Oncotype DX test to determine whether or not I will need chemo. I get those results on the 16th Dec. I'm 52...never been seriously ill in my life...always been fit and healthy, so this diagnosis has absolutely floored me.
I have been told I am not going to die...and you'd think that would be enough to lift my spirits, right? No such luck...I am depressed...absolutely terrified by the prospect of chemo...crying at the drop of a hat and generally feeling like my life is over. I just dont seem to be able to pull myself out of the hole I have dug for myself.
The chemo terrifies me...despite being told its not as bad as it is for those with active disease...and being told most people cope very well and continue to go to work etc....and despite my sister law telling me shes had worse hangovers!
I know there are people here who are going through so much worse, and I feel a bit pathetic for feeling the way I do. I think it's worse for me because I don't have my family and friends around me at the moment...I'm living away from my home town, albeit temporarily, whilst we sort out my husbands sisters house for selling...so I feel very isolated...
Am hoping to connect with people here who can kick my arse back to Smilesville....xxx
Hi Shamanka, Sorry that you've had to join this wonderful place. We are all here to help and kick ass if it helps too .
I found the scariest time was being told, like someone had pulled the rug from my feet.
I had Womb Cancer and Also Breast Cancer which was found on the scan when staging the Womb Cancer. I didnt look at the big picture though. I just took things as they came and turned up when told to. I had a full hysterectomy Jan 31st, 9 weeks recovery, then Lumpectomy and lymph node removal in April. Then started 5 weeks of Radiotherapy in June.
It really does get better though, just take one day at a time. When you feel isolated , talk to us here or I found the Macmillan help line very good at understanding and listening. My local Maggie's Centre was good for my soul. Do you have one in your area ?
Wishing you all the best Shamanka. You can do this honey.
Thanks so much for replying :) I already feel a little less isolated!
Yes...we have a Maggie's at St.Barts....I think I was avoiding it initially, because just being around other people with cancer made it too real for me when I was first diagnosed, so I guess there was a fair amount of denial going on in me lol...
I will definitely take the plunge and go in when I'm next there.
Sounds like you've been on a hell of a journey Kiki...well done for smashing it! Xx
Shamanka , glad you feel a bit better just being here.There is ppl here even in the wee small hours when we can't sleep.
Maggie's do a look good..feel good class ( you have to phone and book as there is always a waiting list ) Its a make up class ( I'm great at make up but I went with my friend who isnt, we met a great bunch of ladies and it was such a laugh ! We all got a big black make up bag full of top brand cosmetics , skin care and designer perfume !
I think you would love it !
I did smash it didn't I ? You will too
You will find a strength you didn't know you had.
We have your back .
Hi Shamanka it’s nice to meet you although I am sorry you find yourself here. It’s an awful time waiting for results isn’t it x We are here for you if you need anything. It’s hard feeling isolated but I promise you’re not alone. This forum and the wonderful people on it are here for you. No doubt we have experienced some of the feelings you have. And I’m sure anything you share will help someone else.
Again , I’m sorry that you find yourself here but I welcome you warmly with gentle hugs x
Stephy x
Hello.
I'm 32 breast cancer secondary to the bones and spine. I'm currently receiving hormone therepy but there will be time I probably need chemo and like you I'm absolutely scared ivd had enough stomach bugs feeling sick since diagnosis don't want any more. Of thst symptoms
Speaking of look good feel better workshops go for one they are amazing I've only wore bit of make up here and there but since diagnosis I've got into make up and beauty more however unfortunately can't get into bath anymore and showers are not as relaxing no more due to bending etc and if I'm having bad day need oral morphine beforevhsnd but yes then work shops I learnt more about make up than I did xxx
Hello
I'm the same as you. I'm terrified and cant function properly at all. I'm driving all my family mad. I start 6 months of chemo soon then surgery. I really have a bad mindset at the moment, sorry if I haven't lifted your spirits xxx
Hello
I'm the same as you. I'm terrified and cant function properly at all. I'm driving all my family mad. I start 6 months of chemo soon then surgery. I really have a bad mindset at the moment, sorry if I haven't lifted your spirits xxx
Well unfortunately it's waiting game for both me and mum as she has cancer I'm hoping everything will be stable I don't need surgery on breast but I want to push for referral to spinal as crushed vertebrae been very painful usually goes after few days but since last saw oncologist in October I've upped my morphine and pre gablin and still some days if not most get bresk threw pain need oral morphine. There is procedure they can do and had High chances of minimise pain because don't want be on morphine and pre gablin all my life if can help it xxx
Hello
It's all so difficult. My brother was diagnosed with aggressive prostate cancer early summer this year and now me with breast cancer. My poor mum and dad. I wish you lots of love xxx
It's ok...we feel how we feel and theres not much we can do about it!
I know one thing though...fear is a powerful thing, and it can make a situation seem a thousand times worse than it actually is. I have a friend that I've met through having cancer...we're on a parallel journey, and shes the most positive person I've ever met! We had lunch today, and she told me that we should stop focusing on how awful it might be, and focus more on what it's doing for us...
The whole thing is frightening because it's an unknown thing at the moment...chances are you will deal with it far better than you imagine..and...it's not forever. And if its saving your life...then its worth it xxxx
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