Hi gang!
I was diagnosed with a grade 3 ductal carcinoma with no lymph activity at the beginning of September. I took part in an immunotherapy trial which shrank it by 6mm. Had my wide local excision on 5th November, with 5 nodes taken for testing which were all clear.
Am currently waiting for the results of an Oncotype DX test to determine whether or not I will need chemo. I get those results on the 16th Dec. I'm 52...never been seriously ill in my life...always been fit and healthy, so this diagnosis has absolutely floored me.
I have been told I am not going to die...and you'd think that would be enough to lift my spirits, right? No such luck...I am depressed...absolutely terrified by the prospect of chemo...crying at the drop of a hat and generally feeling like my life is over. I just dont seem to be able to pull myself out of the hole I have dug for myself.
The chemo terrifies me...despite being told its not as bad as it is for those with active disease...and being told most people cope very well and continue to go to work etc....and despite my sister law telling me shes had worse hangovers! 
I know there are people here who are going through so much worse, and I feel a bit pathetic for feeling the way I do. I think it's worse for me because I don't have my family and friends around me at the moment...I'm living away from my home town, albeit temporarily, whilst we sort out my husbands sisters house for selling...so I feel very isolated...
Am hoping to connect with people here who can kick my arse back to Smilesville....xxx
Hi Shamanka, Sorry that you've had to join this wonderful place. We are all here to help and kick ass if it helps too 
.
I found the scariest time was being told, like someone had pulled the rug from my feet.
I had Womb Cancer and Also Breast Cancer which was found on the scan when staging the Womb Cancer. I didnt look at the big picture though. I just took things as they came and turned up when told to. I had a full hysterectomy Jan 31st, 9 weeks recovery, then Lumpectomy and lymph node removal in April. Then started 5 weeks of Radiotherapy in June.
It really does get better though, just take one day at a time. When you feel isolated , talk to us here or I found the Macmillan help line very good at understanding and listening. My local Maggie's Centre was good for my soul. Do you have one in your area ?
Wishing you all the best Shamanka. You can do this honey.
Shamanka , glad you feel a bit better just being here.There is ppl here even in the wee small hours when we can't sleep.
Maggie's do a look good..feel good class ( you have to phone and book as there is always a waiting list ) Its a make up class ( I'm great at make up but I went with my friend who isnt, we met a great bunch of ladies and it was such a laugh ! We all got a big black make up bag full of top brand cosmetics , skin care and designer perfume !
I think you would love it !
I did smash it didn't I ? You will too 
You will find a strength you didn't know you had.
We have your back .
