Im so scared

Hi ,Julie,

Good luck for tomorrow.

I felt better once the I got the results and a plan was in place, it’s a relief. You will be on your way to recovery. One step at a time x x

Hi Beachwalker, I went back last Friday and was told I have stage 2 cancer and if the MRI scan that I'm having on Thursday is clear in the other breast the specialist said that he might be able to to do the mastectomy without having chemo just radiotherapy, well I came out on a high at that news but for some reason I'm feeling so low and scared again, I'm trying not to take my Diazepam as I don't want to become addicted to them but I just hate this feeling and the waking up in the morning is definitely the worst for me. Xxx

This is such a difficult time, although you have had positive news from your specialist You will still be worrying yourself with "yes, but" and what ifs.

Regarding the diazepam I don't know if you've been taking it regularly or just when you feel really stressed. Diazepam does stay in your system longer than you think so if, for example you took it three times a day you would get a build up over time.

If you are very stressed and losing sleep I doubt you will get physically addicted in the true sense of the word.  Waiting until you are desperate and then taking a tablet makes you FEEL dependent which is a different thing but can be upsetting.

If you are concerned and really don't want to FEEL reliant ( which is different from being addicted) perhaps you could break tablet in half and see if it still is enough for you or maybe look at the many relaxation mp3s on you tube. I like Andrew Johnson. and Mark Williams.  Body scans.     youtu.be/CyKhfUdOEgs 

Hi Bagrat, ni I'm only taking Diazepam when I really feel I'm not coping and as you said half at a time, someone on here said she was given beeter blockers to help her with anxiety . thank you for your support and reply xxxx

Hi Julie, I was like you when I was told I would not need chemo or radiotherapy, really positive and on a high then had many days after feeling anxious , worried again. I thinks it’s an emotional rollercoaster this journey we are and have been on. I had beta blockers and still take them, short term use of beta blockers and diazepam will do not harm , if you need to take them, why not if it helps you get through your worse moments, I get days now when I’m down but don’t know why as I’m back to work etc, all the stress can affect us for sometime with all that we go through so hold in there now, keep strong and make the most of your good days but accept the bad days too, we are human after all, take care

Rita

Hi Rita, firstly thanks so much for your message it means so much to me, and isnt it weird the way we're all so up and down I bloody hate it I feel as though it's taken my mad personality away. Lol. Like you after being told I might not need chemo I was on a high and then the next day my brain goes into overdrive with the what ifs. I will carry on taken half a Diazepam and maybe go back to the doc to see if he can give me something just to keep me on an even keel. Thank you Rita. Xxx

Hi

It sounds like positive news hun. But yes it’s still daunting. Just try to look at it as a first hurdle and take each day at a time. You will have more good day than bad. 

Hugs Tina x

Thank you Tina, just up and down so much. Hope you're ok. Xxx

Hi again, 

it IS a rollercoaster, the one things you need to do is try and keep as positive as you are able. 
sending hugs xxx

I know you're so right Moomy. Xxx