I want to think im coping but at night my mind runs wild. I cant quite get my head round this thing growing inside of me. I feel betrayed by my own body.
( I got knocked off line.....I think I'm back. Macmillan doesn't always stay connected for some odd reason.)
I guess we're not in control anymore........we have to rely on so much which is experimental. Everything, through necessity moving so quickly, we can't absorb what's going on.
I can see that even since Oct 2015 when I was diagnosed, treatments are changing. I have a feeling that in many places chemo is more individual and the effects less severe. That isn't to say the side effects for some aren't very unpleasant but maybe there are a few variations now.
Most of the time I can be very positive ......and I am lucky and have a lot to be positive about.....but I have been left with a few, very painful, related problems and yes.....it's in the middle of the night, I feel most sorry for myself and imagine less favourable scenarios.
I tried to look up your profile.....that's when I went off line so I don't know where you are at.....beginning, part way through, waiting at the other end....Any of the above is that weight on your chest....
I've just received your friend request. I'll get back to you asap. I can't do too much at once or I lose connection. Did you know you're chatting to France?
Im mearly at the begining of my journey. Only had my first chemo session monday. Been told i need about 6 months worth of chemo before they will operate to remove the cancer.
