'Youre tough' 'youre strong'. ..well i just dont bloody want to be at tines

, it is so hard to do it alone. Big hugs xxxx

Dearest ,

I am sorry you have had the problems following surgery - I was blessed with all 'going to plan' and this does make you feel good, however, you still question it all.... because 'it went to plan'.  Once you get tomorrow out of the way you will know how the next four weeks will be.  I have read many of the ladies ask for or are given a cream, I think it is called 'R1' and 'R2" - I believe it helps protect the skin (it might pay you to ask about this, I think it is expensive so not freely offered).

I think it is wise that you have not told your son, after all what would it achieve - more worry, anxiety and even deepen his depression.  It would pay you to tell him that you found a lump and are having it removed - this way, if anything is said relating to BC you can say 'they wondered if it could be, however all is okay, just said it would be best to be removed to be on the safe side'.

I don't know how others feel about not saying anything, but, this is 'your story' for you to tell how you want.  I didn't tell my mum, we lost my dear dad a few years back - if mum had know this it would of broke her, plus every day I would be asked 'how are you' etc... my lovely mum is over 80 and part of the old school generation where 'it' is referred to as 'C' - I told mum I could feel a lump and was going to the doctors, doctors said it would be best to have taken out. 

You will feel alone at times, however, you have now found a group of ladies and gents that actually 'understand how you feel', "we get it" - until you have heard those words 'no one can ever truly know what it feels like'.

You are part way through your rollercoaster ride, you will get through this, you will keep thinking about it and your emotions will be all over the place - you will even have tantrums and anger outbursts - but.... it will get better, slowly you will lean to live again - just remember for now 'it is very early days for you, both mentally and physically you have gone through so much; I think because we are whisked onto this journey there is so much to take in and then have 'major surgery' without a care - we just 'want it done' - it is only when you are the other side of all this that slowly the reality of it all starts to sink in.  Plus you will have friends that turn out not to be friends and people you don't know become friends that you never thought you would have.  Its one crazy time you are going through.

I won't waffle on much longer - I wish you well with tomorrows radiotherapy and if you find yourself 'awake' at silly o'clock's - have worries or questions jump onto the 'Awake' thread - there is always someone nipping on during the evening hours - saying this it is a little quiet of late, I put this down to the 'summer time'.

Oww and with regards to work - you only go back when 'you' feel you are ready to!! 

Big Hugs, Gail xxxx

Hi Lamata.....

What happened has said some very wise words here......

I hope the radiotherapy goes well today. After today it will be less alarming.....that fear of the unknown is so daunting but actually I had 33 sessions of radiotherapy and it was ok. I did follow a strict creaming routine but I was prescribed hyaluronic acid cream. I didn't know any different at the time. I put the cream on thickly after each session and renewed if necessary but you have to wash it off before you go for next dose. You must have grease free skin for the rayons. In France we have a soap  .....savon surgras......it was also prescribed but really it's just a perfume free, not too creamy soap bar.

Keep in touch.....use the Awake thread at night when you're  worried.

Cyber hugs....Love Karen

Thank you Gail,

I only just found this support last night and I cant believe the difference it has made. None of us are alone and we get it.

Thank you for your kind words 

Jo xxxx

Hi Karen,

Radiotherapy delayed as wound not healed enough yet.

Yeah the nurse said today that aveena cream works well but any will do as long as sls free (I think that's right) 

Hiw you doing now?

Love jo xxxx

Me? Thanks for asking. I'm ok.....nearly four years and still clear at the last check up early July. I'm triple negative so five years is the important mark.

Congratulations! I'm not sure what triple negative means though? X

Hi, i started radiotherapy last week, there is a separate thread called Starting Radiotherapy In August that I have posted on. I have had 4 of 15 so far. 

I was nervous but it has been ok. I am tired which i was told about beforehand. I drink lots if water and ear something before and after which helps. The staff are very friendly and i have got into a routine with it. 

I felt better once i had started it, like i was doing something positive to get better if that makes sense. 

My emotions can be all over the place. I have got on the waiting list to see a counsellor. I did this through my Breast Cancer Nurse. 

I do hope you heal and are able to start soon. If you want to ask any questions please do. 

Take care.