Grade 1 Invasive Ductal Breast Cancer

I just spent 30 minutes chatting to you and I' ve lost the reply!

A brief summary.....my elderly father ....92...is getting up and needs help to make tea....

You are you....

There is no normal now. No right or wrong reaction to anything. You do and you feel what is right for you.

We are always here.....someone to listen to your problems, fears, rants, a shoulder to cry on, someone to laugh with ( yes, there will be days you have to laugh at the absurdity of it all).

At the moment everything has happened too quickly......talk with your husband. Mine was an incredible support but like us as patients,  all men react differently. If he wants to be involved,  let him. Mine chose to look up all the facts....not Google but from NHS, Macmillan and Cancer research. He went to every appointment knowing what the treatment being offered would do and how it should be done and asked many relevant questions on my behalf but only you know if your husband would worry with that information  or it would help him. I think it helped mine.

You don't  say the age of your children. Mine were adults and the support they gave us was invaluable. We told them exactly what was happening.  But my parents would never have coped...Cancer is still a death sentence to that generation despite all the modern medical improvements .Luckily they live a long way from us( on a six week holiday here at the moment) so we kept the info to a  minimum and whilst they knew I was having treatments.....we never told them exactly how ill I was.

So you see you're not different....you're YOU. Do what suits you. Come on this site as often as you feel helps you.

I hope the lumpectomy goes well. I had one too. Hopefully if everything has been found early further treatments won't  be too gruelling but whatever, it will pass. I have been clear of my cancer nearly four years now. Triple negative means I don't  have any other treatment but we are waiting to be clear for 5 years. Nearly there! 

Take care. Chat again. Must go to sort dad..

Love Karen

Hi

 Welcome. You have come to fab place full of all sorts of people going through all sorts of emotions in all sorts of relationships...so you would have to try really hard to be 'different' 

Being 'blasé' may be a protective mechanism which is allowing you to get on with the 'doing' of this at this time. This may change or it may not. Please don't worry about how you should be feeling. Perhaps those around you are concerned about how you appear to be coping 'too well' right now and they fear a potential dramatic crumbling?

Are you able to share your thoughts with those around you? If so reassure them that the sort of help and support you need may change over time but that you and they will be able to ask for, give and seek it.

If you feel you need to be 'strong' for others right now, this is a great place where you can let it all out...even if that is to say ' I have nothing I want to let out right now'. 

You don't say how old your children are but there are resources to help tell younger children and there are bits of this site for family and carers etc if that would help them.

Oh and if you're awake in the middle of the night, the Awake thread is where you will find others...for advice, support, a virtual cuppa and even, where appropriate, silly smiles.

I too didn't have an 'emotional' reaction to my cancer...my journey was different as it wasn't breast cancer. I had a dramatic collapse at home alone... I will skip the gory details. An emergency hospital admission was the start of investigations. At this point I knew there was something serious going on and this was the start of finding out what and hopefully treating it. The collapse and being alone was scary but not the possibility or the confirmation of cancer. I saw this as positive... this meant there was a plan.

Take care