Newly diagnosed terrified. Feel like life is over.

Dear

what you are feeling is perfectly normal , it’s such a shock . Also you will read some posts and wonder what all the terminology is . Just take your time and ask on here and we will help . 

Your life is NOT over ! But it will be different . I have to think back to last year to remind myself of all that happened , honestly I’m well , ok I now have white hair but it’s so thick and in brilliant condition and much admired . I’m happy . 

I think everyone will agree that once you get your treatment plan it gets easier in a way . You know what’s going to happen , you will be looked after by some incredible nurses and doctors . 

Its just a shock and we all handle it differently. But handle it we do . The main person in all of this is you and now you must learn to put you first . 

This is a brilliant site and everyone on here has supported me through it all . They will support you too . 

Take care 

love 

Ruby Rose  

Hi Henty, 

I'm just 3 weeks ahead of you - diagnosed on 14th March. I know exactly how you feel but it does get better. The waiting for more test results is probably the worst time but once you know more it is much easier to cope. Life has changed dramatically and yes it's going to be very different. We will both come through this and out the other side stronger people.

I have loads of people praying for me  which I feel is really helping - I don't know if this is your thing but more than happy to say one for you if it helps.

Be prepared for treatment plans to change I was first going to have chemo then surgery but now it is the other way round and found out on Thursday it is mastectomy on Monday but glad treatment will start. Hang on in there. You are a beautiful person whatever happens and you will always be beautiful.

J

Hi. I’m also a few weeks further on and whilst I am just post mastectomy now - still only a matter of days since I really remember that awful time during the diagnosis process. It is very scary and no matter how many people tell you they have or know someone who has been through it and they are fine now. That doesn’t really help. Because this is happening to you and it is scary right now it is terrifying and it doesn’t seem to leave your brain it just lurks there. Meanwhile you maybe frantically trying to get things done and organised before treatment starts so it is stressful too on a practical level. 

I could say you’ll be fine and it gets better - it does sort of or at least it changes. But what might help too is to say; be really kind to yourself. Let people you know and love know how you are feeling and if you can let them listen and support you. Also. You are allowed to be scared. Giving yourself permission to feel this way might make it more manageable. You aren’t alone though. And I really hope that you see the clinic again soon to find out your next steps. The limbo stops then for a bit. Ohh and if you need to. Call the breast care nurses at your breast clinic. They know your diagnosis, your situation, and what the care might look like a bit. They might be able to help. 

Go well and take care xxx

Hi J 

just seen your post. I had my mastectomy, reconstruction and axillary lymph nodes removal last week. Hope your op goes really really well on Monday. 

Thank you!

Hope you are recovering well.

Janet

Dear Henty, 

just wanted to see how you are doing. Hoping that being on-line has helped a bit. We are here if you need. You take care. You’ve not let anyone down. Cancer is indiscriminate this is not your fault and don’t worry about needing support. 

Hope all goes well for you tomorrow. 

Hi Janet

thank you. Yep going well if a little slower than I though. But apparently reconstruction is a bit more to recover from than I had anticipated. That said it is worth it. 

You take care and let everyone look after you. 

Hugs

x

After diagnosis Wed 3 April not heard from anyone about  my referral. Feel so abandoned and afraid. Can't sleep or eat. I know other people say this is the worst time. Henty xx

Hi Henty,

lots of sympathy! ........annnnddddd breathe!

i had a mx with implant just over a year ago (on April 3rd) and yes, there were a few times I felt a bit abandoned. But I knew I had an excellent service in our small but very busy bc department, and knew a phone call to speak to the nurses would be answered, even if I had to leave a message. 

I was lucky and didn’t need any other primary treatment, but have a further few years on hormone busting Letrozole. I’m feeling a similar anxiety as I’m coming up to annual appointments and mammogram in the next couple of days. 

So, yes you can do this, yes it’s tough but this is a site where we all understand! 

When you know a treatment plan you’ll have a lot less worry, but I guess you’ll still worry as cancer has this nasty, sneaky way of changing your life!

sending hugs xxx

Hi Henty.   So sorry your feelin awful I was the same two years ago, had Lumpectomy and node clearance it’s a terrible time at the beginning but you will get through it I just wanted it out as soon as possible, we will all be thinking of you on here as many of us have been through it and come out the other side, Good Luck to you let us know how you get on.