How are we all doing ?

Thanks for the hug Denby.Feeling very down about the current situation.Managed to get another coat of paint done in the bathroom.It’s a small tricky space to work in so had to be careful.Love Jane x

Hi H,That sounds lovely.We planted an oak in memory of dad and up until recently it did well.We had to wait some years until it produced acorns.It’s not looking happy at the moment though.I will have to get someone in to look at all the trees and to prune the bay and goat willow.I always kept them manageable but since cancer it’s been too much strain on my abdominal muscles.I’m trying my best to avoid a parastomal hernia so have left them and they are both enormous now.Even this small painting job has been tiring.We haven’t had any rain but it is cooler.Love Jane x

Hi Jane.

So sorry to read that you and your sister are going through a dark spell

Unfortunately until the rose tinted glasses are removed concerning her partner, things may be slow to change.

I do hope that you and she will be united soon

Love Inanna x 

Hi Inanna,We haven’t fallen out yet but her partner is doing his best to drive a wedge between us.I want to be there for my sister when the rose tinted glasses come off though.I hope you and Basil are ok ? Love Jane x

Hi Jane,

Hereabouts we have a Freedom Project, which is a meeting for people who are/have been in abusive relationships. From what I hear [quite a number of women at our church have been to it] it really helps the scales fall and provides much necessary emotional support to cope with tackling the situation/dealing with the aftermath.

I know it' a rural area but worth checking out in case it's of use when the time comes.

More hugs, Denby

Thanks Denby,I’ve just had a brief look on line and they run the programmes not too far away.My aunt thinks I should disown my sister but I really don’t want to do that.I’m not happy with their latest deception though.Jane x

You're welcome Jane. Imho Auntie [presumably the strict one you've mentioned?] has it wrong. If you were to disown your sister it would only drive her further into those awful arms and give him more ammunition for his twisting inveiglement. Fence sitting is notoriously painful though - dare we enquire what they've been up to now, or is it better not mentioned??

Puts our struggles with social workers over sister in law's care in the shade I must say, as it's so different arguing with professional strangers than with family.

Ongoing supportive vibes heading west to you, 

Denby

Thanks Denby,I’ll send you a private message.Love Jane x

It’s so humid today.I went to town earlier to verify my identity at the post office for the solicitor.I also arranged for the estate agent to come over next week to value the house in its current state.Been busy tidying and sorting but feel quite overwhelmed by grief today.Mum and I used to talk about everything before her dementia became too bad and I miss her very much.Love to you all Jane xx

Thanks Denby.I’m sure tomorrow will be better.I keep having to tell myself it’s still quite early in the grief process.Our plumber lives down the road and crossed over to chat and asked after mum.I last saw him and his wife a few days before mum died.He was asking whether my sister has been helping me out.I said no and he said he wasn’t suprised.Love Jane x